Elderly woman: Do you know where the rat killer is?
Younger customer: I am not sure they carry that here. You should speak to a clerk
Elderly woman: A lot of people with pet rats don’t want them anymore.
–PetCo, Kips Bay
Overheard by: Glad I Have Dogs
Cokehead to small dog: You piss me off.
–St Marks Place
Overheard by: Murray
Woman to her dog: What the hell are you doing?
–Fairway Market, W 74th & Broadway
Overheard by: Megan Ingraham
Little boy to pigeon walking behind him: Stop it!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Will
Creepy old guy to dog: Yeah, yeah. Smell me. Smell me.
–Stairwell of apartment building, W 105th St
Overheard by: inge
Man to his dog butt-sniffing dog: Don’t do that! I told you not to do that! This is why you don’t have any friends!
–117th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: robin b
Woman to yapping pooch: Shakespeare, we’ve talked about this!
–72nd St & York
WASP to dog: You’re not going to get cheese on your fries if you don’t stop misbehaving right now!
–Shake Shack, 23rd St & Madison
Overheard by: Matt C
Woman: You know how those animal people are, though. I mean, I speak to them, though! I’ve done pigeon rescues and stuff before. I love animals.
Man: Did you ever bury your rats?
Woman: No… I just can’t bring myself to do it.
Man: How long has it been? Three years?
Woman: Yeah. They’re still in my freezer.
Man: Just bury them already!
Woman: I can’t bring myself to do it! They were my favorite!
Man: But they’re IN YOUR FREEZER! Why not have them stuffed, then?
Woman: What? No! That would be wacky!
–A train, 207th St
Overheard by: Auston McLain
Broker: This is not a pet-friendly property.
Girl: Does it matter if my cat is toilet-trained?
Broker: I don’t understand.
Girl: My cat doesn’t have a litter box. It uses the toilet. Does that help?
Broker: I am not sure if that makes a difference. How did you do it?
Girl: I used a training kit. CitiKitty.
Broker: It might impress the owner, but I am not sure it makes a difference. Does your cat flush?
Girl: It will if that helps me get the apartment.
–82nd & Columbus
Guy: I don’t know if you believe in reincarnation or anything, but I just have this feeling that my mother and I have a lot of shit to work out. Maybe in my next life she’ll just be my cat or something.
Girl: What would you name her?
Guy: Pussy.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Girl #1: I don’t like German Shepherds, they scare me.
Boy #1: Why?
Girl #2: Because they bark loud?
Girl #1: Yeah, that is scary, but the real reason is the Nazis used them in the Holocaust, so I don’t like them.
–Amtrak Train, Penn Station
Big girl: Oh my goddd! Your doggy is soo adorable — I just want to eat him!
Dog owner: Umm — Thanks, I guess. [To her friend] Is that the most endearing thing she could come up with?
–37th & 7th
Overheard by: Russ
Hot chick: So, I just wanted to let you know I’m just coming out of a relationship.
Buff dude: Oh. Well, then I should tell you that I used to be a stripper in Chicago.
Hot chick: Hmm…I have herpes.
Buff dude: That’s ok, I have two cats.
–Scruffy Duffy’s, 8th Ave between 46th & 47th
Girl #1: You know, I’ve always been interested in a relationship with my cat.
Girl #2: I think that’s illegal… pretty much everywhere.
Girl #1: So is giving your donkey weed, but here we are.
–A train
Woman sitting on bench with small dog on lap: You know that no matter what you do, I will always love you, right?
–1st & 87th
