Australia

Girl on phone: Hi, mom, sorry I didn't call you back… I was busy having sex.

Melbourne
Australia

Woman: I'm glad all my friendships are online!

Melbourne
Australia

Youngish girl to pair of friends: My vagina is ruined after last night.

Melbourne
Australia

13-year-old boy, jumping all over the place: It was a feeling of pure urethra!

Perth
Western Australia
Australia

Overheard by: he didn't really think that one through

Girl #1: Did you hear John* is thinking about getting a new tattoo?
Girl #2: Yeah? What's it gonna be?
Girl #1: He wants to get a kangaroo wearing gumboots, with a shovel over its shoulder. How classy is that?

Sydney
Australia

Freshman, walking out of library: Geez, these books are heavy! They should make, like, lighter versions of books…

Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Eavesdropper…

Calculus lecturer: If I had 20 million dollars to give you as a gift…I would, just to see you fuck up.

Perth
Western Australia
Australia

Teenage girl to friend: And then he stuck his finger up my butt, and said “Oh, yeah, do you like that, babe?”
Friend: See, there you go. If you don't sit a guy down and tell him not to go up your butt, he will. Look at you, you're butt-fingered.

Subway Store
Maitland
Australia

Girl #1: So, do you know what she told me? Her mother walked in and she was you-know-what-ing… with the milkshake maker!
Girl #2: Huh?
Girl #1: She was — y’know — using it down there!
Girl #2: What?!
Girl #1: Gross, I know.
Girl #2: … Did she make a milkshake with it afterwards?

Newtown, NSW
Australia

Overheard by: buzzcut

Guy passing pet store: I need a Labrador. Let's get one.
Girlfriend: What did you do with your old one?
Guy: I don't think you want to know.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: XPIOTOS