Cleanliness

Teen guy on cell: Yeah, we should catch a movie. I gotta wash my balls first, though… No, that’s fine. We can go to a party, but I gotta wash my balls.

–Manhattan bound N train

Overheard by: Caryn
Headline by: Dustin

Runners-Up:
· “‘Cuz When I Party, I Go Balls Out!” – MYRock
· “…Just in Case There’s a Sack Race” – Rob
· “Can You Assist Me With the Blow Drying Process?” – Bored Beyond Belief
· “Cleanliness Is Next to the Perineum” – brazos
· “Fratboy Etiquette, in a Nutshell” – Hellespont
· “He Started Playing Billiards Just For the Double Entendres.” – j
· “How to Spot a Dedicated Golfer” – TJ
· “I Hate to Tell Him, But Crabs Isn’t Something You Can Just Wash Off…” – J.B.
· “In Case It’s a Boston Teabag Party” – slappy
· “OCDeez Nuts” – Courtney
· “Or Get a Dog and Some Peanut Butter” – Corydon

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Girl #1: It’s not good to flush the toilet while you’re in the stall.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Because then everything that’s in the toilet… jumps out.
Girl #2: Ewww.

–Ladies’ room, Columbia University

Guy: Dude, look at their Board of Health certificate on the wall there. It’s brown. No, it’s dirty!
Girl: Oh my God, that’s so filthy. What’s that on top there? [walks over] Jesus Christ, it’s a cockroach!

–Chinese restaurant, Flatbush & Dekalb, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Lunch Special

Girl #1: Does anyone have Purell?
Friends: No
Girl #1: Purell? Anyone?
Girl #2: There’s a bathroom right there!
Girl #1: I want to clean my hands.

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Adina C

White girl: Since I quit, I have been blowing out the biggest boogers in the mornings.
Black guy: Boogers? I been blowin’ moons. Like the moons of Jupiter.

–1 Train

Guy #1: And do you know what else he does?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: He puts perfume in his pubes.
Guy #2: Oh, you know, I read about that in an article.

–Bleecker & Christopher

Overheard by: Mya

Guy #1: He sucks, though I don’t want him working there with me.
Guy #2: Why does he suck? Is he slow at washing dishes or something?
Guy #1: Yeah, he takes forever. All I do is throw them in the water, skeet on ’em and put them in the drying rack.

–L train