Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy

Annoyed wife trying on unattractive skirt: So what do you think?
Husband, with baby: It looks nice.
Annoyed wife, returning to dressing room: What do you know?
Husband to baby: Son, you have no chance.

Old Navy
South Carolina

Overheard by: Kempii

Middle aged female client: You aren't going to find out the sex? How are you going to know what color to paint the nursery or what kind of baby clothes to get?
Pregnant 30-something hair stylist: Oh, please, like it matters what colors I choose. People aren't going to be wondering if it's a girl or a boy, anyway; they're going to wonder if it's an animal or a baby.

Overheard by: jenc17

Girl to friend: Like, oh my god! I just got mistaken for a sales clerk at freakin' Levi's!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: seastardodell

Half-naked girl to clothed passerby: Whassup? It's just one of those days.
Clothed passerby: I hear ya.

Eugene, Oregon

Flamboyantly gay guy in teeny Speedo, looking at bride in hotel lobby: Ummmm… Is there a wedding here?
Front desk agent, also looking at bride: Yup.
Gay guy, disgusted: God, I feel so silly in my Speedo.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: proud to be… an idiot?

Woman to son: That's the dress Larry Bird Johnson wore to the inauguration.

First Ladies Exhibit, Smithsonian
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Dave White

Female: What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Child: Al Capone.
Female: But you're Al Capone every day.

Memphis, Tennessee

Chick: Do I know you from somewhere?
Dude: Uh… maybe?
Chick: Didn’t you come to my Halloween party dressed as the Pillsbury Doughboy?
Dude: No.

Girl #1 to friends: Anybody can be a cell phone.
Girl #2: That's a good t-shirt.

Hampton, Virginia

Overheard by: S. H.