Woman on phone: As long as she can wear it without showing her lady garden, then that's fine by me.

New Zealand

New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!

Department Store

White hipster to others: I've noticed the black kids in Harlem are starting to wear skinny jeans and skateboard. It's great… 'cause it's, like, cool to be smart again.


Girl: I like wearing this hat because it makes me look like a cancer patient.

Overheard by: wb

Guy on cell: Don't expect it to be as great as the last time we were in Malibu, though. Unless you bring your funny hat.

The Coffee Bean
Los Angeles, California

Sloppily-dressed teen girl to another: Do you know how many new outfits I would have to buy to carry a baby around for nine months?

Sam Houston State University
Huntsville, Texas

Customer: Hi, I'd like to return these pants.
Store manager: Can I ask why?
Customer: The pants talk.
Store manager: (…)
Customer, frantically: I mean, they pop! They pop!

Burnsville, Minnesota

Overheard by: I had to return a pair of talking pants once too

Girl #1: Oh, I like your jacket.
Girl #2: Thanks, it's not mine, Julie loaned it to me. Thank god she did, because she puked on mine.
Girl #1: Is that why she loaned it to you?
Girl #2: No, I didn't tell her she puked on mine. It's not really cool to bring up stuff people did when they were having a seizure.


Crazy bag lady: Can I have that shirt? I’m all dirty and nasty.
Young guy: No, I need this for work.
Crazy bag lady: Oh. Can I shit in your mouth?
Young guy: Um, no.

Washington, DC

Mother: That dress is cheap — cheap like the cigarette cartoons in my mother’s freezer.
Daughter: It’s prom. You’re supposed to look cheap.

Salt Lake City, Utah