Clothing

Enormous Changes for Wednesday One-liners

Woman: I would bedazzle the shit out of that shirt.

–53rd & 9th

Girl: So, he said he was thinking about getting LASIK, and I told him that if he wants to have surgery he has to start with a nosejob.

–Times Square

Man on cell: Yeah man, I promised for her birthday I’d take her to the best doctor in town. She really needs to have this done. Where did you take yours when she had fleas?

–57th & Broadway

Girl on cell: Oh, I don’t know, the last time I saw you your lips didn’t look that overinflated.

–Washington Square dog run

Overheard by: boswell

Or Not Very Subtle

Girl #1: …uh, strapless?
Girl #2: Yeah? Which one?
Girl #1: You know you just asked me what strap on I bought, right?
Girl #2: Oh, shit. I’m not very smart am I?

–Victoria’s Secret, Prince Street

Overheard by: Natalie

Depends on How Many mp3s It Could Store

Girl #1: What if you were so obsessed with Rent that you carried the CD around everywhere?
Girl #2: That’s actually kinda cool.
Girl #1: And wore a cloak?

–Irving Plaza

Do Those Sneakers Make Her Look Geeky?

Woman #1: That skirt was terrible. I looked like I just got off the boat!
Woman #2: What boat?
Woman #1: …The boat from Ireland.

–Macy’s

Introducing the New Comeback to Anything

Girl #1: …so I like tried it last night, and it wasn’t that bad and all…not like great, but not too gross or whatever. But then he like, wanted to jackoff on my Pop-Tart today, and I was like, “Yuck, get out!”
Girl #2: Do you think these sneakers are geeky?

–Battery Park

Quit Lying, You Horny Prick

Lanky guy: I really don’t like these new jeans you got me. They’re way too tight in the waist and legs, but baggy in the butt, and at least two inches too short. Plus they’re boot cut, and I don’t wear any boots!
Girl: Those are my jeans.
Lanky guy: Oh. Well, that would explain the lack of room in the crotch, then.

–64th & Lexington

Overheard by: Adria

Depends on What Kind of Freaky She Feels Like

Girl #1: These are my fat ass pants.
Girl #2: Oh…so are they supposed to make your ass look fat or thin?

–58th & 5th

There’s a Reason It’s Called Wrong Island

Guy #1: You know, like the velvet tracksuits that everyone’s dads wore when we were growing up.
Guy #2: We didn’t all grow up on Long Island.

–6th & A

Overheard by: Phenders

“..and then come in the audience.”

Woman: When Denzel comes on stage, I’m going to throw my panties up there.

–Belasco Theater, W. 44th Street

Overheard by: Julia Caesar

Wednesday One-liners are Criminal

Homeboy: I don’t discriminate. If anyone messes with my family, or my kids, I’m taking their life.

–Bx21 bus

Overheard by: Fiona

Chick on cell: I don’t know…I think I’m in Queens. The train’s above ground…I lost my keys and I have to be at work in 45 minutes. I’ll guess I’ll go in the same clothes…I don’t know what he does. I think something at night, though. I took his money.

–7 train

Girl on cell: That’s very nice to diagnose yourself like that but, really, fuck you…I still think you’re, like, a sociopath or something.

–6th Ave. between 50th & 51st

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