Mom: Come here, put on your coat.
Little girl: I don’t wanna wear that stupid coat.
Mom: Hey, be nice. Be a good little girl. It’s cold as a bitch’s ass out here…you need your coat.
–Pierrepont Playground, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Mom: Come here, put on your coat.
Little girl: I don’t wanna wear that stupid coat.
Mom: Hey, be nice. Be a good little girl. It’s cold as a bitch’s ass out here…you need your coat.
–Pierrepont Playground, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Guy on cell: In a wig, with his pants down, watching her from his car.
–33rd St, Astoria
Overheard by: Ferna
Teen to another: Barack Obama said, "pull your pants up!"
–Broadway & 72nd St
NYU girl: I wanna do it, and I wanna do it in my pants box.
–Weinstein Hall, NYU
Border's employee to man sleeping in chair: Sir, could you please wake up? …and also zip up your pants.
–Borders
Guy on phone: Well, I guess I thought you might be kind of gay after you invited me to that "no pants" party.
–Astoria
Stormtrooper: Man, I can’t even move in this thing.
Star Wars geek #1: They said no dueling.
Star Wars girlfriend: No lightsaber duels?
Star Wars geek #2: No, the’re no lightsaber dueling in the theater.
Star Wars geek #1: But they’re dueling.
Star Wars girlfriend: Yeah, but he’s Yoda.
Lady: Look, I’ve been saving this seat since Attack of the Clones.
Dude: Cool lightsaber.
Dork: Thanks.
Dude: Where’d you get it? Geek.com?
Dork: No. Borders.
–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street
Nerd: At this point, my expectations are so low, as long as Darth Vader’s in it and a lot of people get killed, I’ll be happy.
–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Fanboy: That was great. Now all we need is the technology from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to erase the first two.
–Ziegfeld theater, 54th Street
Overheard by: Jaybill McCarthy
Guy #1: Your jeans are ripped.
Guy #2: Your ass is ripped.
–West Village
Overheard by: Mike
(two gay men are adjusting a backpack)
Gay guy #1: Oww, are you sure you know what you're doing?
Gay guy #2: Don't question me! I know how to use Velcro.
–51st Street Station
Crazy dancing Jewish man: Hey, are you Jewish? Are you? Hey, I can tell you are! You look so Jewish! I know you are!
Woman: Why? Just because I have a fat ass and a big diamond ring? Fuck you and your big hat.
–14th St, in front of Purim Truck
Asian chick #1, on seeing a cop on a horse: How do they get the shoes on the horse? Do they like slip it on?
Asian chick #2: No. Cuz then they’d fall off.
Asian chick #1: Oh… Are they born with them?
Asian chick #2: No… Wait. I don’t think so…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Cecilia
Kid #1: Do they have gay clothing stores?
Kid #2: Wherever all the gay people are.
Big dude: You guys wanna go watch a Menudo video or something?
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mixmaster Mike
Girl #1: Is your sweater cashmere?
Girl #2: Yeah. Well, cashmere blend.
Girl #1: Blend? That doesn’t count. God, you’re such a bitch.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Five-year-old girl pissing behind tree to mother trying to talk to elderly man with dog: Look mommy! Look! I'm making a pee-pee behind the tree.
Mother: Yes, sweetie, that's very nice. (returns to conversation with man)
Girl: Mommy! I'm still peeing! I'm still peeing!
Mother: Uh-huh. Well, pull your pants up when you're done.
Girl: Mommy, there's a squirrel! Hi, squirrel!
Old man: Careful! They have rabies and they'll eat you!
Girl, running towards mother with no pants: Aaaaaah!
–Riverside Park
