Woman, while hugging man: What is this?
Man: Huh?
Woman, picking hair off his shirt: This is not my hair!
–42nd St station
Overheard by: Geneedwin
Woman, while hugging man: What is this?
Man: Huh?
Woman, picking hair off his shirt: This is not my hair!
–42nd St station
Overheard by: Geneedwin
Chick changing baby on bedding display: Do we need to buy this pillow now?
Hubby: Did he shit on it?
Chick: I don’t think.
Hubby, smelling pillow: S’all good.
Chick, holding dirty diaper and wipes: Where’s that shelf with the trash cans?
–Target, Queens
Headline by: Redneck Jedi
Runners-Up:
· “Mentioning Britney Spears Would Just Be Too Easy” – chelsea
· “Over There, Under the Security Cameras” – Katy
· “Over by That Sense Of Decency You Apparently Can’t Afford.” – Beryl
· “The New York Native Living Off The Land” – harris
· “Wait.. for the Baby or the Diaper..?” – Mike N.
· “Where Do They Think They Are? WalMart?” – Bill
Guy: I liked it. What’d you think?
Date: It was okay, I guess. I don’t know about the ending, though.
Guy: Well, I’m pretty sure it has some deeper meaning. I’ll have to check some message boards and find out.
–Regal Cinemas, Union Square
Girlfriend: Come on, I really wanna see that movie about Jane Austen.
Boyfriend: She was the one that lived with the chimpanzees, right?
Girlfriend: No, that was Jane Seymour.
–38th & Lex
Boyfriend: Have you ever heard of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas?
Girlfriend: No, wait… Isn’t that your grandfather?
Boyfriend: No… My grandfather’s boyfriend was a kleptomaniac. Every Christmas my grandfather would have to rip all the tags off of everything so that no one would know that his boyfriend stole all the gifts.
–6 train
Girl: You’re so strong and handsome!
Guy: You’re so skinny and fuckable.
–East Village
Black guy: So, are we going to fuck tonight, or what?
White girl: I can’t, I have my period.
Black guy: Your mouth isn’t bleeding, is it?
White girl, giggling: Okay, fine.
–F train
Overheard by: Carrie
Chick: Are you coming right home after work? I need sex so badly.
Guy: Yeah, I can tell… Why don’t you use your Valentine’s Day gift?
Chick: The Rabbit? It’s not the same.
Guy: Why isn’t it the same?
Chick: Well, it doesn’t talk.
Guy: Wait — so if it talked, you wouldn’t need me at all? Is that what you’re saying?
Chick: Um… No?
–Carnegie John’s, 56th & 7th
Overheard by: cheech
Guy: I love you like I love sliced chicken…
Girl: Huh?
Guy: … And I love sliced chicken.
–Mo Pitkin’s
Fat guy: I love you.
Cute girl: Do you really mean what you say, or are you just saying it?
Fat guy: Of course I mean it. [They make out, then chick leaves.] What a dumb bitch.
–W4 station
Overheard by: Ting
