Translation: Sex With You Isn't Worth the Annoyance Of Your Company

Emo chick: So then she glared at me. In a mean way, not a happy way.
Normal looking boyfriend: I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Emo chick: Huh?
Normal looking boyfriend: You know, I just don't think this is going to work out.
Emo chick: Wait. You're breaking up with me? Here? Why?
Normal looking boyfriend: Well, I wasn't planning on it, but honey, you didn't like Watchmen and you've never read or seen The Princess Bride. Clearly we're just two very different people.

Flagstaff, Arizona

Overheard by: nayvera

Posted on September 30, 2020
Arizona, Books, Compare and contrast, Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Movies, Questions, Relationships, Words

Mr. Duchovny's Voicemail Fills Up Fast

Teenage girl on cell: David, I fucked you last night. The least you could do is give me a ride to Taco Bell.

St. Louis, Missouri

Posted on September 8, 2020
Assholes, Couples, Food, Missouri, Sex

That's Obviously the Isaiah Washington Memorial

Middle-aged wife: Oh, honey, look! It's the George Jefferson memorial.
Middle-aged husband: Seriously. You are such an idiot.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Posted on September 5, 2020
Couples, Eavesdrop DC, History, Insults, Stupidity

What Apple?

Girlfriend: You’re still tying your shoes with bunny ears?
Boyfriend: The other way is really hard!
Girlfriend: It’s so easy!
Boyfriend: Look, I have to do the bunny ears. I can’t tie my shoes the other way. It’s like, the bunny goes around the tree 50 billion times, then hides in its hole, comes out and the mongoose chases it… Then the rabbit eats the apple!

High school
Hamburg, New York

Posted on August 20, 2020
Couples, New York, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity

The Real World's Sadly Lacking in Noble Causes Worth Fighting for

20-something girl to boyfriend: You're such a nerd.
Boyfriend: We prefer “Men of Gondor.”

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Corey

Posted on July 31, 2020
Books, Couples, Default, Education, Girls, Guys, Massachusetts, Pop culture, Words

You Probably Should Just Finish Up the Bottle

Husband: Can I have one of my pills?
Wife: Didn’t you just take two a little bit ago?
Husband: Just the two you told me I took.

Frankenmuth, Michigan

Posted on July 26, 2020
Comebacks, Couples, Default, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, Offers and requests

Translation: I’m Still a Little Stoned

Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I’m gonna be late for work… What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Nic

Posted on July 24, 2020
Couples, Food, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Happiness, Questions, Washington, DC, Weirdness

How to Say “I Love You” Like a Chicago Native

Man in t-shirt and jeans: Wait. Can I just be myself for one minute here? Can I?
Woman in classy cocktail dress: I don’t know, can you?
Man in t-shirt and jeans: [Farts loudly.]

Halsted Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Bardley

Posted on July 23, 2020
Burping & farting, Couples, Illinois

High School Cafeteria Goes Up in Flames, Population Scientists Say, “Excellent!”

Chick: Look, if you’re out sniper-ing hobos, it’s not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it’s population control.

High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on June 20, 2020
Colorado, Couples, Philosophy

I’m Still Not Telling

Chick pointing at port-a-potty: Well, I guess I’m going to the bathroom now.
Dude: Do you fold or crumple?
Chick: This conversation has gone too far for me.
Dude: I fold. Well, depends on my mood.

Union Park
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 15, 2020
Couples, Gossip, Illinois

Couples