Dad: How about pizza for lunch?
Four-year-old boy: No, I think we need to eat something healthier than pizza.
Dad: But it’s really healthy. See, it has all those tomatoes on it.
–Pinnacle
Dad: How about pizza for lunch?
Four-year-old boy: No, I think we need to eat something healthier than pizza.
Dad: But it’s really healthy. See, it has all those tomatoes on it.
–Pinnacle
Mom: What are those?
Daughter: Sour Patch Kids.
Mom: Can I have one?
Daughter: No.
Mom: Why not?
Daughter: I paid for them.
Mom: And I gave you life. Now give me one.
–Near NYU
Overheard by: Nicole
Mom: John, you’re killing me!
Son hugging her tightly: Wear your armor next time.
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: Sumo
Mother: You have to cut her chicken fingers up. I gave her a whole one the other day and she almost choked to death.
Father: I like for her to learn to take bites.
Mother: She’s not ready.
Two-year-old daughter: I’m not ready, Dad.
–Diner, Midtown
Little girl: Do you have a wife?
Hipster: … No…
Little girl: You don’t look like you do.
–DeKalb St & Hall St
Kid, as blind woman passes by: You know why you should never jump a blind person?
Friend: Why?
Kid: One, they could fight back like Daredevil. Two, it’s just cruel. And three, you can’t hit ’em in the face ’cause they’re used to it. All fallin’ down the stairs all the time…
–6th Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: connor
Little girl: Ew, Daddy, it smells like Jersey over here.
Dad: I know, sweetie.
–30th St
Overheard by: Kate
Girl: I mean, I never want to get married. Like… never. But I really want babies. So I guess I’m just going to have a bastard.
–Marquet Cafe, 15 East 12th St
Overheard by: Grace
Little boy: You know what the problem is with clowns these days? They
try and do magic, too.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Overheard by: Mater Baiter
