Friendly waitress, serious: Would you like to order a happy ending?

Lycoming Mall
Pennsdale, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: DazedinPA

Girl #1: How do you like your place?
Girl #2: I've got a huge deck!
Girl #1: You were one letter away from making me a very happy woman.
Girl #2: I was one letter away from making myself a very happy woman. If I had that, I'd go fuck myself.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Eight-year-old boy: Hey dad, can I get deodorant?
Father: Uh, sure.
Eight-year-old boy: Yesssss!

A&P Supermarket
Totowa, New Jersey

Small child: Mmm! Oooh! Mmm! Mommy, that feels good when it comes out!
Mother, whispering: Shut up.

Restroom, Tanglewood
Lenox, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Stephanie

[Two 20-something guys are staring at Colleen Moore’s ornate fairy castle dollhouse.]Guy #1: Oh, man.
Guy #2: No man on earth could have ever kept this woman happy.

Museum of Science and Industry
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Joan

Guy: My idea of fun is wearing a paper skirt!

Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shy invisible girl

Sorority girl: Well, did you get spanked by the entire party? No! That was me! (does a victory dance)

San Diego State University
San Diego, California

Overheard by: oh, really?

Bearded 20-something to friends: Pants or no pants, I'm gonna party tonight!

Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Matt

Fabulous shopping man to another: That's the thing about happiness! Even if I had some, I wouldn't know where to put it!

Boston, Masscahusetts

Overheard by: surprisingly happy

Professor to clapping students: You know what makes that funnier? I just took a shit.

Binghamton University
Binghamton, New York

Overheard by: ThirstyEar2