Middle aged man: So all you gotta do is pick up a gray squirrel holding an acorn, squeeze his belly, and hear him make real squirrel chatter.
–92nd & Lexington
Latina girl on cell: Chill the fuck out! Groundhog Day isn't till like June or some shit!
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Max
Girl: I tried a lot of things before I started kicking small animals.
–15th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rijita
20-something guy to another: They cost a lot but they live forever. If you get a group of like 20 elephants, you're invincible.
–1 Train
Female student: But how else would you transport the elephant?
–34th St b/w Park & Madison Ave
Eight-year-old boy, running hellbent through playground, to friend: I could tell you about Archelon, the largest evolved turtle, but there isn't time.
–Riverdale
Overheard by: Someone else's mom
Guy on cell: It was kind of like sexually penetrating cows…
–E 55th St
Overheard by: TiffanyLyn
