Internet

Congratulations — You Have Successfully Befriended Wednesday One-Liners

Man: I don’t really use Facebook anymore… Except to booty-call poke.

–Starbucks, 6th Ave

Chick: If I die, I don’t want a Facebook group in my memory. It’s tacky.

–Broadway & Waverly

Overheard by: Sarah

Web guy: I’d say my mouse hand is ‘strong’ to ‘very strong.’

–46th & 6th

German man to another: [Rambles in German, then] EBay is sin! A sin, I tell you!

–H&M, 34th St

Overheard by: Melissa Coppola

Math teacher who looks like Ali G: So, I took a ‘How ghetto are you?’ quiz on Facebook. Turns out I’m only 61 percent ghetto.

–Bronx Science

Thug to thugette: Fall back — you never know when people gonna be postin’ what you said on the Internet.

–Astor Pl

Overheard by: katattack

If You Can Find a Way to Kill People with It, the Army Would Be Interested

Hipster guy #1: We’ve been working on this kind of Flickr thing for cell phones for, like, a month.
Hipster guy #2: That might be kind of cool…
Hipster guy #1: No, it fuckin’ sucks. Nobody’s gonna use it.

–Chinatown bus

I’m Up to the Level Where You’re Only Allowed to Use Toes

20-ish girl: Oh, yeah! That game where you try to make her cum?
20-ish guy: Yeah.
20-ish girl: I played that last night!

–E train

Overheard by: Beth

You Have Received a Friend Request from Wednesday One-Liners. Do You Wish to Accept?

Girl on cell: What the fuck? I mean, if you want to say hi, just write it on my Facebook wall!

–116th & Broadway

Overheard by: alxie

Dude: I really want to sign up with eHarmony, but I can’t think of three things I am thankful for.

–8th & Broadway

Black teen girl: Can’t nobody talk shit about her now, ’cause they know we’re with her. I mean, she’s in our Top Three on MySpace!

–23rd & 8th

Sketchy doctor: I Google everything! I treat my patients with Google.

–Mt. Sinai School of Medicine, 98th & Madison

Some Viruses Do Less Damage Than Others

Chick: You have to be really careful nowadays downloading things online.
Dude: Amber, I have been downloading porn since I was 11. I think I know what I’m doing…

–F train

He’s Started Scooping Matt Drudge

Female Google suit: How’s your son doing?
Male Google suit: Great! He’s 11 months now, and he’s starting to get a personality — it’s great!
Female Google suit: I’d love to see some pictures sometime!
Male Google suit: He’s got a blog!

–Elevator, Port Authority building, 15th & 9th

Plus, My AdSense Numbers Are Down

Office diva: You read my blog on lesbian wolf packs?
Office janitrix: Not yet.
Office diva: Gotta check it out. Shit’s pretty intense.

–W 25th St

Or If I Were Less of a Shit. Either One.

Guy #1: So, my uncle is having marriage problems. His wife found kiddie porn on his computer.
Guy #2: Damn… That shit’s illegal. Did she confront him about it?
Guy #1: Yeah… You know what he said to her?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: ‘Well, I wouldn’t need to use it if you were prettier.’

–Ozzie’s, Lincoln & 7th Ave

Overheard by: augie

Overheard Everywhere

Occasionally, we leave New York and also overhear great quotes that we’d like to use on the site, which we haven’t done when they’re not in an Office or Beach. To encourage our eavesdropping, we’ve launched Overheard Everywhere – The Voice of the Rest (of the world outside of New York).

This site is a bit different than our others because, in addition to posting what we overhear ourselves and what our spies tell us, we will also link to the Best Of the other overheards on the Internet, on the hundreds of imitation overheard sites that have popped up — so, if you or a friend of yours runs your own overheard site, tell us about it, and we’ll read it daily and post and link to our favorites on your site, too.

Let us know what you think at hatemail@overheardinnewyork.com or lovemail@overheardinnewyork.com

Team Overheard

This week’s Headline Contest

This week’s Headline Contest: Here

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