Internet

Wednesday One-Liners Say a Mouthful

Loud woman on cell: I suck your dick and we can't be Facebook friends?

–20th St & 6th Ave

Guy to buddies in the passing Skyfari car: Yo, that building over there… That's the building where I got that $5 blowjob.

–Skyfari, Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Stefan Yonker

Young man, dismissively: I could fucking suck cocks for a living, it doesn't matter!

–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave

Middle schooler, wrestling in Aids memorial: Ooops, I sucked your dick!

–Hudson River Park

Overheard by: Nina & Phil

Middle-school girl to mother: My e-mail password is "blowjob".

–L Train

Someone Set Up a Livejournal Feed for Us

To subscribe, click here.

Your Editors Got 197,000,000 Hits

White guy: Honestly, this sounds crazy, but I've never been able to find actual porn on the internet.
Asian girl, indignant: Dude. You just google “porn.”

–Bleecker St

They Mean the Same Thing: That the User Has No Penis

20-Something dude #1: Do you still use “lol” online?
20-Something dude #2: Nah, I use “omg” instead.

–10th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope

She Has Six Months Left to LiveJournal

Doctor guy: Okay, we have the chest x-ray and it explains what’s going on. See this lesion? It is pretty impressive.
Patient lady: “Impresssive”? Is that a medical term? Am I gonna have to google that, too?

–Office, 71st & Park

Overheard by: Next exam room

And Correlate Them to Market Trends, Will You?

Female trader: Oh my god, I’ve been so busy lately.
Eager new hire: Is there anything I can help you with?
Female trader: Well, I’ve actually been too busy to read ABC blog* and XYZ blog* today. If you could write me up a summary, that would be great.
Eager new hire: Uh, sure.

–Trading Floor

Overheard by: PageSixisBetter

Least of All My Roommate's Audible Masturbation

Chick: So I e-mailed my building manager to complain about my jerk roommate, and she wrote back that the solution to all my problems is to chant. And she sent me the chant! Listen to this: “Nam yo ho ren ge cho.” And if I do this every day, I'll be happier, wiser, and in rhythm.
Dude: There are two possibilities here. Either she's enough of a flake to believe this, or she thinks you're enough of a flake to believe it.
Chick: None of this is good!

–151st & Broadway

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Whole Graveyards Full Of Them

Girl on cell: Yeah, so after I get the surgery, I’m not going to be able to drink or eat for, like, three months.
Friend, on speakerphone: Oh, man, that’s rough. Is there, like, a special diet you go on for that?
Girl on cell: I don’t know — I should look online. I’m sure plenty of people have done it before.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Katrina

Wednesday One-Liners Are Always PC

Young teen girl: I've done cybersex so often I forgot how to type with two hands.

–A Train

Suit on cell: I have nothing to blog about. I have nothing to video blog about. Man, yesterday I had to force myself to tweet!

–Uptown 4 Train

Overheard by: cowgirly

Girl selling peaches to another: Yeah, my dad was so unsympathetic when I told him my computer crashed that I went straight to the Apple store and charged a new hard drive to his credit card. I was really proud of myself.

–Fort Greene Farmers Market

Overheard by: Morning Glory

Teenage girl to friend: I don't see why we're even here. We could see all this stuff on the internet for free.

–Metropolitan Museum

Overheard by: Derek

No Comment.

NYU girl #1: What the hell is the professor talking about? We can't use the internet to do research?
NYU girl #2: She doesn't know what she's talking about.
NYU girl #1: I mean, an article in The New York Times is totally an academic resource, even if I look at it on their web page. Does she think The New York Times isn't right?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, fuck her!
NYU girl #1: I also cited the bible in my paper, but that's totally an academic source.

–Waverly Place

© 2024 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist