Little girl: You can’t party at school.
Little boy: Party?
Little girl, raising the roof: Like ‘Whoop, whoop!’
–Earth School
Overheard by: sjhaughty
Little girl: You can’t party at school.
Little boy: Party?
Little girl, raising the roof: Like ‘Whoop, whoop!’
–Earth School
Overheard by: sjhaughty
Little boy: Mommy! Mommy! Can we make our own baby tomorrow?
Flustered mom: What? No. What are you talking about?
Little boy: Can we make a baby? Please! Can we please make a baby?
Flustered mom: We’re not making a baby. Not tomorrow or any other day. No more babies. Ever.
–Century 21
Little boy #1: We wanna go over there and see the shiny wall.
Little boy #2: Yeah, we wanna see the shiny wall.
Babysitter, waiting in line: Fine. But what’s the rule?
Little boys, together: Don’t get kidnapped!
Babysitter: Right. Have fun!
–Guggenheim
Nine-year-old boy: Mom, are we done?
Mom: Yes, we just need to check out.
Nine-year-old boy: Yeah! We’re done! D-u-n, done!
–Duane Reade, 33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: themelancholydane
Little girl: You’re the most beautiful girl in the whole world! [Mom smiles.] You are.
Mom: I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
Little girl: Only to you.
Mom, holding up girl’s art project: Actually, I think she’s the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
Little girl: No! She’s a princess bird-fish!
–F train
Overheard by: Actually, I’M the most beautiful girl in the world
Little boy: How much farther is it?
Father: Well, we’re on 116th now…
Little boy: Oh, no! I don’t wanna do math now!
Father: And we’re going to 112th… What do you think?
Little boy, sighing heavily: Okay… 116 minus 112… That’s three streets!
Father: No…
Little boy, halting and releasing father’s hand: What do you mean, ‘No’?! Hey! Come back here!
–116th & Broadway
Little boy: Daddy, I think you and Mommy should have a baby. I want a little brother.
Dad: No, your mother and I aren’t having anymore kids.
Little boy: But how will you and Mommy have any fun?
Dad: We’ll have fun with you!
–Port Authority
High school kid #1: Yo, man, give me a pound! Man, don’t leave me hanging!
High school kid #2: What? Oh, I’m pounding you in my head.
High school kid #1: Yo, nasty!
High school kid #2: I meant with my fist! … To your fist.
–Main St, Flushing
Woman to her crying child: A man is going to take you.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Caitlin
Asian mom to child in stroller: You feel trapped? Well, so do I. Now you know how I feel.
–51st & 3rd
Mom to whining child: Too bad, so sad. Your mom looks like your dad.
–JFK
Mom on cell: Shut the hell up or you’re not going to choir camp…
–32nd & Lex
Woman with wailing baby: God, I wish I was high — you would be so funny right now!
–V train
Mom to screaming toddler: If you could stop doing that, I’d appreciate it.
–Ascan Ave & Queens Blvd
Overheard by: me too.
Son: Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea…
Daughter: And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.
Son: Little Mikey Draper…
Daughter: You mean ‘little, ummm, Harry Safer’?
Son: Little Harry Safer…
Father: You mean Johnny Walker!
–57th & Broadway
