Four-year-old boy in Superman cape being carried by exhausted mom: Owie! Owie, owie, owie! [Mom sets him down.] Now I won’t even be able to do yoga!
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: bemused bostonian
Four-year-old boy in Superman cape being carried by exhausted mom: Owie! Owie, owie, owie! [Mom sets him down.] Now I won’t even be able to do yoga!
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: bemused bostonian
Thug #1: We don’t even go to the movies or nothin’. She just comes over to smash it and then she leaves. She knows, too. She just comes over for some pipin’.
Thug #2: That’s where it’s at.
Thug #1: She got a 10-year-old li’l nigga, too. She knows not to ask for somethin’ serious. That li’l nigga in fifth grade! That nigga on MySpace!
–Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: Rhymes With Lasagna
Headline by: ja
Runners-Up:
· “…And “To Catch A Predator”” – Stuck in the MidWest
· “He Comes Over for Some Pipin’ Too.” – Courtney
· “I Just Have to Wait for Her to Be in Eigth.” – Snark Sloper
· “That Li’l Nigga Gots Roast Beef and This Li’l Nigga Gots None.” – johnnyb
· “The Nucular Family” – Bill
· “The Waltons, 2007” – G’night, John Boy
Skater kid #1: Dude, why did they close the door on your grandma?
Skater kid #2: I don’t know — least she won’t be seen with us.
Skater kid #1: Haha, true.
–Q train
Overheard by: Nicole
Middle-aged woman: Spider-Man uses his spider sense to smell bad guys, but he can’t use it to smell Venom.
Little boy: But Grandma, if he can’t smell Venom, he’s invisible!
Middle-aged woman: No, he can still see him, but he can’t use his spider sense to smell him, so he’s dangerous.
Little boy: Look, a parrot!
–Barnes & Noble, 86th St
Little boy tugging on mom’s arm: Mommy, why are we here?
Mom: Because everything’s organic, sweetie.
Little boy, excitedly: I love organic!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Lacy
Mother: Hey! You come here right now! I can’t afford to have you running all over this place.
Little boy: Let go of me! Let go of my hand! If you don’t, I will hate you forever and disown you.
Mother: Hey, hey! That’s my job.
–JFK airport
Overheard by: innocent passerby
Dad: You don’t have to talk all the time!
Small boy: … But I don’t.
Dad: Oh, really?!
Small boy: Yeah. I don’t talk in my sleep.
Dad: How the hell do you know that?
Small boy: When I’m sleeping I can actually hear myself not talking…
–27th & 7th
Overheard by: Kleid
10-year-old boy #1: So, I’ll beat up the boys, and you beat up the girls.
10-year-old boy #2: Yeah! I love hitting girls!
–78th & 4th, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Becka
Four-year-old boy, frantically: Mommy! I can’t breathe!
Mother: What?
Four-year-old boy: I can’t breathe!
Mother: Are you kidding?
Four-year-old boy: No, I can’t breathe!
Mother: Why? What’s wrong?
Four-year-old boy: I can’t breathe ’cause the doctor cut my penis!
–Brooklyn Heights
Seventh grader #1: When you get a Brazilian wax they wax in your butt, too!
Seventh grader #2: I don’t think I have hair in my butt.
Seventh grader #3: Actually, one time in sixth grade you bent over and I saw it.
–Locker room, Asphalt Green, 90th & York
