Teen thug: Yo, I remember all that shit from back in the day. Like, in second grade there was this movie with a bug in it…!
Preteen thug: Word?
–42nd St-bound Q train
Teen thug: Yo, I remember all that shit from back in the day. Like, in second grade there was this movie with a bug in it…!
Preteen thug: Word?
–42nd St-bound Q train
Two-year-old boy, looking at dollar bill: Mama, is this Jesus on the money?
Mother: Well, sort of. He was like Jesus for America.
–Times Square
Overheard by: MeganMama
Mom holding dog’s leash: Matthew, when you throw a stick, I’m the one who has to run.
Six-year-old son, cheerfully: Okay!
–10th & 8th, Park Slope
Overheard by: EM
Little girl: Mom! Mom! I’m so scared! I just saw the scariest thing!
Mother: What is it? What’s wrong?
Little girl: I saw two men kissing!
–Pizzeria Uno’s, Astoria
Eight-year-old boy: So they were poisoned?
Mom: Yes.
Eight-year-old boy: Like the monkey?
Mom: No, like the boy with the Tic Tacs.
Eight-year-old-boy: Oh.
–55 Water St
Overheard by: Billy Splatts!
Swimming instructor to three-year-olds: Okay, guys, hug your boogie board to your body like your teddy bear. Kirk, do you have a teddy bear?
Kirk: Yes. I also have a moose that uses my daddy’s brain to talk.
–Red Hook Public Pool
Overheard by: ibenin’
Father: Is he asleep over there?
Mother: Yeah, he’s dozing. [Looks at other son.] Are you asleep, too?
Son #2: I’m bored.
Mother: He’s always bored. I must’ve been bored when I made him. [Stands up and leans on father’s knee and starts humping.] I’m bored, I’m bored[yawns], I’m bored.
Father: That guy is looking at you.
Mother: So? He doesn’t look boring like you.
–Queens-bound F train
Overheard by: That guy on the F Train
Headline by: Jason
Runners-Up:
· “Charles and Diana Ride the Subway?” – Shawn
· “Most Priests Aren’t That Exciting” – Brock
· “They Don’t Call It the F Train for Nothing” – Sean McGurr
· “This Is the Express Train: From Boring to Whoring” – Sim Etrias
· “Try the Middle Leg….it’s Less Boring” – nicky c.
Toothless lady to fat friend: I gotta go to Jersey ’cause my sister shitted out another kid.
Fat friend: Damn.
–Union & Metropolitan, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Rushing dad dragging kid along: Well, most super guys are good guys.
Four-year-old son: No, some super guys are bad.
Rushing dad: What would make a super guy a bad super guy?
Four-year-old son: Well, he might suck. Like, if he couldn’t walk fast…
–Penn Station
Overheard by: klutch
Woman: See? She is a good dog!
Child: Except when she eats her own poop.
–Carmine & Varick
Overheard by: Marcy
