Little boy: Daddy, I think you and Mommy should have a baby. I want a little brother.
Dad: No, your mother and I aren’t having anymore kids.
Little boy: But how will you and Mommy have any fun?
Dad: We’ll have fun with you!
–Port Authority
Little boy: Daddy, I think you and Mommy should have a baby. I want a little brother.
Dad: No, your mother and I aren’t having anymore kids.
Little boy: But how will you and Mommy have any fun?
Dad: We’ll have fun with you!
–Port Authority
High school kid #1: Yo, man, give me a pound! Man, don’t leave me hanging!
High school kid #2: What? Oh, I’m pounding you in my head.
High school kid #1: Yo, nasty!
High school kid #2: I meant with my fist! … To your fist.
–Main St, Flushing
Woman to her crying child: A man is going to take you.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Caitlin
Asian mom to child in stroller: You feel trapped? Well, so do I. Now you know how I feel.
–51st & 3rd
Mom to whining child: Too bad, so sad. Your mom looks like your dad.
–JFK
Mom on cell: Shut the hell up or you’re not going to choir camp…
–32nd & Lex
Woman with wailing baby: God, I wish I was high — you would be so funny right now!
–V train
Mom to screaming toddler: If you could stop doing that, I’d appreciate it.
–Ascan Ave & Queens Blvd
Overheard by: me too.
Son: Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea…
Daughter: And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.
Son: Little Mikey Draper…
Daughter: You mean ‘little, ummm, Harry Safer’?
Son: Little Harry Safer…
Father: You mean Johnny Walker!
–57th & Broadway
Mom: Please eat your dinner.
Brat: Mommy, you’re meaner than God.
–Restaurant, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Nikki Apostolou
Five-year-old: I want a sticker.
Woman: No, I don’t have any stickers. I have business cards. Here. You can have one [hands him one].
–Park Slope
Overheard by: leah
Small girl: Mama, can we take off our shoes when we get to the park?
Mother: Absolutely not! I don’t trust parks.
–8th St & University Pl
Child: Tia Jeanette, did you know that the tourist-ists brought down the twin towers?
Tia Jeanette: No, no, no, Anthony, it was the terror-ist.
Child: Ohhh…
–Ground Zero
Teen thug: Yo, I remember all that shit from back in the day. Like, in second grade there was this movie with a bug in it…!
Preteen thug: Word?
–42nd St-bound Q train
Two-year-old boy, looking at dollar bill: Mama, is this Jesus on the money?
Mother: Well, sort of. He was like Jesus for America.
–Times Square
Overheard by: MeganMama
