Mom: Please eat your dinner.
Brat: Mommy, you’re meaner than God.
–Restaurant, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Nikki Apostolou
Mom: Please eat your dinner.
Brat: Mommy, you’re meaner than God.
–Restaurant, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Nikki Apostolou
Five-year-old: I want a sticker.
Woman: No, I don’t have any stickers. I have business cards. Here. You can have one [hands him one].
–Park Slope
Overheard by: leah
Small girl: Mama, can we take off our shoes when we get to the park?
Mother: Absolutely not! I don’t trust parks.
–8th St & University Pl
Child: Tia Jeanette, did you know that the tourist-ists brought down the twin towers?
Tia Jeanette: No, no, no, Anthony, it was the terror-ist.
Child: Ohhh…
–Ground Zero
Teen thug: Yo, I remember all that shit from back in the day. Like, in second grade there was this movie with a bug in it…!
Preteen thug: Word?
–42nd St-bound Q train
Two-year-old boy, looking at dollar bill: Mama, is this Jesus on the money?
Mother: Well, sort of. He was like Jesus for America.
–Times Square
Overheard by: MeganMama
Mom holding dog’s leash: Matthew, when you throw a stick, I’m the one who has to run.
Six-year-old son, cheerfully: Okay!
–10th & 8th, Park Slope
Overheard by: EM
Little girl: Mom! Mom! I’m so scared! I just saw the scariest thing!
Mother: What is it? What’s wrong?
Little girl: I saw two men kissing!
–Pizzeria Uno’s, Astoria
Eight-year-old boy: So they were poisoned?
Mom: Yes.
Eight-year-old boy: Like the monkey?
Mom: No, like the boy with the Tic Tacs.
Eight-year-old-boy: Oh.
–55 Water St
Overheard by: Billy Splatts!
Swimming instructor to three-year-olds: Okay, guys, hug your boogie board to your body like your teddy bear. Kirk, do you have a teddy bear?
Kirk: Yes. I also have a moose that uses my daddy’s brain to talk.
–Red Hook Public Pool
Overheard by: ibenin’
