A stray kitten wanders up to a little girl who bends down to pet it.
Mom: Come on, sweetie, it’s time to cross the street.
Little girl, dismayed: But I’m petting the kitty.
Mom: Honey, we need to go. Say bye-bye, now.
Little girl: Goddammit, mommy, I’m petting the kitty!
–17th & 6th
Mother, scolding: And this is the same little boy who took out his penis in a nice restaurant.
Little boy: It was a wonderful restaurant!
–Garfield Pl, Park Slope
Overheard by: ruckerbry
Little boy pointing at St. Patrick’s Cathedral: Daddy, what is that?
Father: That’s a church. Maybe when you’re older we can go inside and look around.
Little boy: Daddy, are there rides in there?
Father: No, no rides.
–51st & 5th
Little boy pointing to subway ad: Mommy, what are those?
Mother: Those are grown-ups.
Little boy: Kids.
Mother: No, those are just happy grown-ups, so they look like kids.
–1 train
Mom: John, you’re killing me!
Son hugging her tightly: Wear your armor next time.
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: Sumo
Yuppie mom: What did you do today, honey?
Three-year-old daughter: I don’t feel like talking, Mommy!
–10th & 7th, Park Slope
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Sister: What’s with all the celebs trying to adopt kids from every different country in the world?
Brother: I don’t know. It’s getting old already — it’s almost like they are doing it because it’s the ‘in’ thing to do. It’s ridiculous… I mean, take Oprah, for instance — she builds schools and homes for them and leaves them in their natural habitat. I think it’s better that way.
–Flight to NYC
Mom: That’s the moon!
Little boy: That’s not called the moon! That’s called an impending alien invasion!
–Columbia University
Mother: Do they still have ninjas?
Six-year-old boy: Duh, Mom — in Japan.
Mother: Oh, I only knew about the Ninja Turtles.
–Escalator, Grand Central
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Professor hobo: Now listen, folks. You got them crazies preachin’ the end of the world. They’s saying God’s gonna come and un-begat us all the way to Adam. I’m not like that. I’m not. Listen — I’m not — so listen, okay? Listen. See, I’m a man of science. No heavenly undoing here. There’s a black hole comin’ this way. Those niggas comin’ at like a thousand light miles an hour. I don’t need no wheelchair super-talk from my computer to know that. It’ll come and it’ll steal your children. Pull ’em from bed and rape ’em and eat ’em. That’s what them black holes do. Eat you. You and your children. Science!
–7 train
