Black guy #1: She wanted to suck my dick watching Sanford and Son at 2AM.
Black guy #2: White niggas don’t understand the principle in that. There ain’t nothing wrong with that.
–2nd & 1st
Overheard by: Errol Stairpath
Black guy #1: She wanted to suck my dick watching Sanford and Son at 2AM.
Black guy #2: White niggas don’t understand the principle in that. There ain’t nothing wrong with that.
–2nd & 1st
Overheard by: Errol Stairpath
Woman: Oh, wow, Gloria, you dyed your hair! You look so much younger! You look great! [To man] Joe, you remember Gloria, right? Doesn’t her hair look great?
Joe: Yeah, but she’s still fat!
–6th & 23rd
Borderline-crying woman on cell: No I don’t want to go to a fucking bar, I want to be with you, you asshole!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: gladly single
Ballsy dame: Well, that’s one thing men are good for — playing the minor roles in Evita.
–Marie’s Crisis piano bar, Grove & Bleeker
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Queer to his friend after hearing raucous cheering coming out of a bar: Straight people are tiresome, yet amusing at the same time.
–46th & 9th
Teen girl smelling a candle: Smells like lesbian.
–5 train
Overheard by: Nolan’s Lover
White girl: Yeah, they’re actually adults. They just look like children because, you know, they’re Asian.
–Asian Pacific American Heritage Festival, Union Square
Overheard by: Kelly
White girl: He really was the smallest black guy I’ve ever fucked…and believe me, I’ve fucked plenty of black guys.
–Union Square
Black guy to Asian woman: We fucking taught you people martial arts! Egypt? What!
–Washington Square Park
Guy: So, anyway, the short of it is, he is the only guy I ever slept with who didn’t end up giving me money. He was amazing.
Girl: Hmm-mm. I see.
–Houston & Mercer
Overheard by: Angela
Mother: What did you say? He’s a professor of cold-cut studies?
Daughter: No, mom! He’s a professor of Holocaust studies!
–74th & 3rd
Kid: Daddy! Daddy! Can I give you a wedgie?
Father: If you do I won’t feed you for a week
Cashier laughs.
Father: At least he asked this time… Usually he just does it
–Walgreens, Manhattan
Suit: I’m going to have challah bread french toast for dinner tonight. My good-for-nothing wife can’t make me dinner — she’s nine months pregnant. She’s home all day, still in pajamas at 2:30 in the afternoon. Why don’t you try putting on some pants, that will get you motivated.
–uptown 2 train leaving Wall Street
Overheard by: Megan W
Guy #1: I wouldn’t have sex with her. I love my penis too much.
Guy #2: You said that kinda loud.
Guy #1: Don’t worry, there’s no Overheard in New Jersey.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
