Woman: Honey, no matter how rich we get, I refuse to move to California.
Man: Why?
Woman: Because I refuse to have a spoiled brat for a child! I would want to raise them in New York.
Man: If we’re rich, won’t they be spoiled either way?
Woman: Yeah, but I’d rather have a Hamptons brat than an OC brat.
–Regal Cinemas Union Square
Overheard by: Tina L
Tourist lady: Does this train go to 9/11?
Man: what?
Tourist lady: I want to see 9/11.
Man: You mean World Trade Center?
Tourist lady: No, I mean 9/11.
Other tourist lady: Oh no, you want the E train. I had this problem yesterday. New Yorkers are so unhelpful
Stunned silence all the way to 42nd St.
–Downtown C train, 50th St.
Salesboy: Hi, do you know about our sale?
Eurotrash: I know everything.
–fcuk, Prince St.
Promoter guy: Do you guys want to see a comedy show?
Tourist mom: Oh, sorry, we have an opera tonight.
Promoter guy: Oh! Fidelio?
Tourist mom: No, Phantom.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy Hobin
Girl #1: So where’s Matt?
Guy #1: I don’t know, is he outside?
Girl #2: I don’t think so…
Matt: Hey everybody! I’m back, I got the dildo!
–Top of the Empire State Building
Overheard by: brian h
Guy #1: Man it’s got to be the weather, ’cause I’ve been crazy horny lately.
Guy #2: Yeah, chicks are a just as horny, only difference is our testicles hang on the outside of our bodies.
–36th & 7th
Tourist #1: Where do you keep your wallet?
Tourist #2: I don’t, I keep my money in my hair.
Tourist #3: I love how you two are talking about where you keep your money.
–Times Square
Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.
–46th & Madison Ave.
Overheard by: Douglas Quade
Chick #1: What do you want to do now?
Chick #2: I don’t know.
Chick #1: Well, why don’t we go to Webster Hall?
Chick #2: Where?
Chick #1: Webster Hall… I was talking to this girl on MySpace and she said that Webster Hall is this upscale lounge.
Chick #2: I could do with an upscale lounge.
Chick #1: I agree, I’m sick of these loud-ass clubs and shit.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Shen
Man on bike: I seem [pause] to have misplaced [pause] my fudge.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lane & Oliver
