Yuppie businessman on cell: I don’t care who designed them, you’re taking them back… You spent $600 on a pair of fucking shoes!?Unbelievable… Ok, whatever, I don’t care, this conversation is over… Goodbye! [to friend] Can you believe this shit?…. Lucky for her she lets me fuck her in the ass.
–46th & Madison Ave.
Overheard by: Douglas Quade
Chick #1: What do you want to do now?
Chick #2: I don’t know.
Chick #1: Well, why don’t we go to Webster Hall?
Chick #2: Where?
Chick #1: Webster Hall… I was talking to this girl on MySpace and she said that Webster Hall is this upscale lounge.
Chick #2: I could do with an upscale lounge.
Chick #1: I agree, I’m sick of these loud-ass clubs and shit.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Shen
Man on bike: I seem [pause] to have misplaced [pause] my fudge.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lane & Oliver
Nun: Can you spare some change for St. Patrick’s Orphanage?
Asian girl #1: Sorry
Asian girl #2: Sorry
Nun: Damned chinks are all the same.
–American Burger, 32nd & 6th
Overheard by: Alex Gray
Guy #1: The richest guy in the world is an oil tycoon from Saudi Arabia.
Guy #2: Bullshit! You’re telling me the richest guy in the world is from England?
Guy #1: England?? Saudi Arabia!
Guy #2: OK, Europe. Same difference?
–34th & 8th
Guido: Hey you talk to me like that again, and I’ll talk to my people, who’ll talk to your people. And I’ll have you buried under Yankee Stadium with JFK.
Other guy: Don’t you mean under Giants Stadium with Jimmy Hoffa?
Guido: Whatever!
–Madison Square Garden
Old man: [hiccups] Old lady: I’ll kill you, dead!
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Raychel Tumin
Suit on cell: Yo man, it’s Wednesday, are you ready to go get drunk and nail some bitches?… Hold on… What the fuck? I’m just in a manic rage and I want to destroy everything. What’s so wrong with that, Dad?
–13th between 3rd & 4th
Tourist #1: I recognize that accent! Where are you from?
Tourist #2: Tennessee.
Tourist #1: Really? I’m from North Carolina!
Tourist #2: Where’s that?
Tourist #1: Right next to Tennessee.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Victoria Spring
Hobo: …and the cookies from the sky, you know, man? All them cookies from the sky, like fuckin’ meteors!
Tourist girl: Look, Mom, it’s a Beat poet!
–Times Square
