30-something mom: Here we are. Here we are. Get it? Here we arrre.
Five-year-old daughter: That’s a good one, Mommy.
–R train station, Union St
Overheard by: Tacologic
30-something mom: Here we are. Here we are. Get it? Here we arrre.
Five-year-old daughter: That’s a good one, Mommy.
–R train station, Union St
Overheard by: Tacologic
Thug dad to toddler after bumping stroller down stairs: I call that there ride ‘The Earthquake.’ You like that? … Well, see, you’re too young to appreciate the magnitude of what just happened.
–A train
Overheard by: Stephie
Ghetto mom to seven-year-old kid: You don’t know how to hustle! You ain’t no hustler, she ain’t no hustler… No hustlin’.
–137th & Broadway
Overheard by: should she be saying that to a 7 year old?
Mom to eight-year-old daughter: This is not about apostrophes! This is about verbal agreement!
–F train at Broadway-Lafayette
Mom to son climbing on ferry railing: You wanna jump? I’ll throw you. Then I ain’t gotta buy you no Power Ranger.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: autumn
Mother to three-year-old trailing behind: Stay close, baby, you know how ferry men like to take little boys.
–Whitehall Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Ryn
Mom: Boy, don’t you listen? I swear, I will tear your ass up on this bus in front of everyone if you don’t behave. [Kid ignores her, and mom pulls out cell.] Fine, I’ll call Santa on yo’ misbehavin’ ass.
–BX 21 bus
Woman holding child’s hand: You’re my daughter, right? Okay, good.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Nervous
Little girl: You’re like a staircase!
Mother: You’re like a staircase!
Little girl: No, you’re like a staircase!
Mother: How am I like a staircase?
Little girl: Turn around, and be like a staircase!
–11th & 4th
Overheard by: tj
Child: Mommy, look! Do you see that rat?!
Mother: Yes.
Child: Oooh, Mommy, look! Do you see that piece of paper?!
Mother: Yes.
Child: Oooh, Mommy! Can I bite you?!
Mother: Yes.
–PATH
Drama queen, looking at watch: I hope you’re happy. We missed our train.
Stressed mother: Okay, okay… Let’s just look at the board and see when the next train into Stamford IS.
Drama queen: Mo-ooom…
Stressed mother: Listen, Bethany, I can’t help it if the cab driver couldn’t speak English and took us to the wrong place.
Drama queen: I think we both know that we’re late because you’re a fatass and had to stop at Starbucks.
Stressed mother: Bethany, enough.
Drama queen: Mom, I am a child model. I make more money than you do, and I could probably figure out the damn train if you’d let me.
Stressed mother: Enough.
Drama queen: If we don’t get back to Vermont by nine o’clock tonight, I’m never speaking to you again.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Christine
WASP lady: Look, Dylan! We’re in the subway! It’s subterranean — that means we’re going to see those subterranean guys!
Five-year-old: Subterranean guys? Whaaat?!
WASP lady: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! [Puts scarf over eyes, like a mask.]Five-year-old: Holy shit, my god! Fuck nooo!
–Penn Station
Young boy, pointing at stack of apple danishes: Mom! Mom! I wanna eat a danish!
Mom: Stanley, you can’t eat cheese, and you can’t eat apples. You know this.
Young boy, exasperated: I know! But I can eat danish!
–Washington Ave & Eastern Pkwy, Brooklyn
Overheard by: xander
Little kid: The sss…
Mother: The Sneetches.
Little kid: Sneetches and uhhh…
Mother: Other.
Little kid: Other sss…
Mother: Stories by Dr. Seuss.
Little kid: Seuss is dead.
–Outside Babbo’s Books
Father buying lightsaber: Just drop it! He wanted this one!
Mother: But it’s the dark side! You’re not supposed to join the dark side!
–Toys “R” Us
Little Asian girl: But why?
Mom: I don’t know, honey.
Little Asian girl: But why?
Mom: I just said that I don’t know!
Little Asian girl: But why don’t you know, Mommy?
Mom: Because Mommy’s stupid.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Miranda
