Wednesday One-Liners Go Back to School

Art teacher: Now you are true students of FIT! Nobody listens to directions!

–FIT

Suit on cell: I don’t know if going through water is resistance or friction, do you? God! I am so tired of doing the kid’s homework!

–46th between 7th & 8th

Female student: I think I’m gonna learn a lot. They were saying things that went, like, right over my head.

–Fordham

Overheard by: Jess McGins

NYU girl on cell: No, I’m not going to waste the credits. I’m just going to fail the class on purpose.

–Bleecker & Mercer

Overheard by: Kristin

Drunk chick: I’m majoring in the doggy-style orgasm.

–Slainte, 1st & Bowery

Overheard by: Genevieve

Professor to class: Most of you are familiar with the breasts of members of the opposite sex who are close to your own age.

–Columbia University Medical Center

Professor: I have no idea what you’re saying, but I know you’re wrong.

–Vanderbilt Hall, NYU

Overheard by: The King Adrock

Posted on March 5, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Columbia (& Barnard), Drunks, Education, Elementary & Middle School, Fordham, Lower East Side, NYU, Rack, School and studying, Sex, Students, Suits, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Yeaaahhh College!

The Best NYU Answer Since Mary Kate Admitted She Doesn't Read but Likes Tootsie Rolls

Professor: How many countries are there in the world?
Student: Seven. (silence, then some laughter)

–NYU

Posted on March 4, 2015
Global Geography, NYU, Questions, School and studying, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors

I’m a Good American Like That

Sober girl: Ashley*, stop! You can’t sleep there, that’s a dumpster!
Very drunk friend, slurring: I’m easily lulled into complacency…

–NYU

Posted on March 1, 2015
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, NYU

Pop Quiz: What’s the Scariest Thing About This Conversation?

Girl #1: Wow, The Ring and The Grudge were like the scariest movies!
Girl #2: Yeah, I know!
Girl #1: Japanese people are good at scary movies like that. I wonder why?
Girl #2: Probably because of Vietnam.

–NYU

Overheard by: k

Posted on February 28, 2015
Global Geography, History & Geography, Movies, NYU, Questions, Stupidity, War

Welcome Back to School, New York

Girl: Yo! What we did in English today?

–24th between 7th & 8th

Orientation girl: We have three orientations going on right now: Gallatin, CAS and Stern. GSP orientation starts next week.
Guy: GSP? Isn’t that the special ed NYU?

–Elevator, NYU Kimmel Center

Girl on cell: Well, what do you think I should wear?…Nah, I mean isn’t the first day of school a sort of wear underwear day?

–86th & Lex

Posted on February 27, 2015
Education, Elevators, NYU

I Tried Them Once, But I Kept Getting Stuck to the Fridge

Not-so-chubby girl: Dude, I’m so fat.
Ordinary girl: No you’re not. You just got a little belly.
Not-so-chubby girl: Yeah…I wish I had fat magnets so I could put them in my bra. It would suck up all my fat and make me go up a cup size.
Ordinary girl: Wow. And I always thought plastic surgery was the only option.

–NYU

Posted on February 19, 2015
Default, Diet/Weight, Girls, NYU, Plastic Surgery

Just a Mistress, and Her Name Is Grammar

Cafeteria lady: So, you been good this weekend?
Frat boy: No! Me and my girlfriend got totally shit-faced!
Cafeteria lady: ‘My girlfriend and I.’
Frat boy: What?
Cafeteria lady: ‘My girlfriend and I got totally shit-faced.’
Frat boy: Whoa! You have a girlfriend?! Hardcore!

–NYU

Overheard by: behind them in line.

Posted on February 16, 2015
Frat Boys, NYU, Stupidity

The Exact Point at Which I Shit Myself

Girl #1: When I got the shit beat out of me last year it broke my septum and I had to get surgery on my nose.
Girl #2: You did not get the shit beat out of you! A homeless woman punched you in the face!

–NYU

Posted on February 4, 2015
Body Parts, Girls, Homeless, NYU, Punch, Surgery

Any Animal That Knows How to Use a Mud Mask Has to Have a Brain

NYU girl #1: I'm totally a vegetarian, and I thought Lucy was, until she told me that she had bacon the other day!
NYU girl #2: Oh my god! That's so terrible, that poor pig. Though I think it's okay to eat chicken. I don't really consider chicken an animal. They're too stupid to be an animal. But bacon, that's totally bitchy.

–NYU

Overheard by: Meatarian

Posted on February 3, 2015
Animals & Nature, Birds, Compare/Contrast, Food, NYU, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, Vegetarian & Vegan