Girl to friends: So, where should we get delivery from tonight?
Hobo: Get DiGiorno!
–49th & 7th
Girl to friends: So, where should we get delivery from tonight?
Hobo: Get DiGiorno!
–49th & 7th
Guy on cell: We can eat pizza and watch people’s faces get cut off!
–Nassau & Humboldt, Greenpoint
Drunk guy: Come eat this pizza! It’s the best fucking pizza in the city. Best fucking pizza in the city. I fucking guarantee it. Fucking best pizza. Good choice, ma’am. This is the best fucking pizza in the city. [Passerby goes in, exits 10 minutes later.] God, I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life.
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: d f
Tourist: Oh, Ray’s Pizzeria – I’ve seen that pizzeria before! I think I’ve been here before!
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Guy: Oh my god, I totally need a hammock made of pizza.
–ACE station, 42nd St
Overheard by: Janet
NYU student: What’s on that pizza?
Dining hall employee: Meat.
NYU student: What?
Dining hall employee: And tomato.
NYU student: Chicken?
Dining hall employee: No, tomato. Tomato!
NYU student: Yeah, but what’s the meat?
Dining hall employee: Meat.
NYU student: What kind of meat?
Dining hall employee: Meat. I don’t know. Meatloaf.
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: sjhaughty
Girl on cell: Mom, are you drunk at Wal-Mart again?
–86th & Lex
Drunk man: I can’t believe they took Ray’s fucking Pizza out of the Ferry Terminal. How am I supposed to sober up before I go home now?
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Drunk guy: I have to move down to this end of the train because, if I don’t, I’m gonna hit that motherfucker down there. I know I only want to hit him because I’ve been drinking. If I wasn’t drinking, he wouldn’t bother me. If I had been drinking more, I’d just hit him. But right now I’m caught in a strange netherworld and I’ll just chill down here.
–1 train
Overheard by: Susan Elliott
Guy on cell: What? That ungrateful, lying bitch. I can drink more Jack through my dick than he could spill on a table!
–Times Square
Guy: Man, I don’t care if they call Protective Services on me. When my kid turns ten, I’ll be like, “You’re ready. Let’s go get hammered.” No fuckin’ way I’m waiting ’til he’s eleven.
–7th St & 2nd Ave
50-Something guy on cell: Yeah, I just spoke to Kate, and everything is wonderful. The liquor stores are open, and people are riding bicycles.
–1st Ave between 9th & 10th
Overheard by: LiAps
Enemy of Bill W.: If we pass a bar, do you guys mind stopping? I just need it chug a beer. It will literally take me 4 seconds.
–3rd St & 1st Ave
Tourist chick #1, whispering: Oh, gross. You ask.
Tourist chick #2, whispering: No, you ask.
Tourist chick #1: Excuse me, what kind of pizza is that?
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: i just wanted to eat my birthday lunch
Hobo: Man, can you spare some change so I can buy a slice of pizza?
Brit guy: I haven’t got any pizza.
–104th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ron Caldwell
Dude: Does that come with a meal?
Pasta guy: It is a meal.
–Bravo Pizza, 5th between 19th & 20th
Overheard by: Animal
Queer #1: What should I get? I’ll have a falafel. Ha, ha!
Queer #2: I’ll have one of these lamb slices.
Pizza guy: Eggplant.
Queer #2: No, one of these.
Pizza guy: That’s eggplant.
Queer #2: Oh…Well, it looked like lamb.
Queer #1: I’m gonna throw caution to the wind and get a cheese slice.
Queer #3: That’s not lamb. Maybe you should ask for a duck confit slice.
–Sal’s, 7th & A
Overheard by: Domi
Pizza guy: You can’t get a slice, man. Your money is fake
Dude: My money is real. I get it at the bank. Straight from the white man.
–Broadway Pizza, 27th & Broadway
Black woman: My god. This bagel is hard as a rock!…I mean I can’t eat this shit. Can you eat this shit?
White guy: I’ll eat it.
Black woman: Ugh.
White guy: Well if you dont want to eat it, I’ll eat it. I’m hungry.
Black woman: I’m just sayin’ it’s the worst goddamn bagel I’ve ever had.
White guy: Honey, it’s from Dunkin’ Donuts. What do you expect? Domino’s ain’t good pizza and Olive Garden ain’t good Italian, either.
White chick: Dude! Next thing I know you’ll be telling her there is no Santa Claus. Go easy.
–Borough Hall 4/5 station
Overheard by: phil j
