French tourist #1, watching crowd taking pictures outside university cafe: What's going on inside?
French tourist #2: He's making pizza.
–University Place & Waverly
French tourist #1, watching crowd taking pictures outside university cafe: What's going on inside?
French tourist #2: He's making pizza.
–University Place & Waverly
Girl, saying goodbye: So what are we all doing after this?
Guy: Well, I'm going to do what I normally do–go home alone, eat a slice of pizza and jack off.
–PATH Train
Overheard by: Maria
60-year-old woman to friend, at Met opening gala: I'm not going to go to the opera this year. There are no fancy entrances.
–62nd & Amsterdam, Improvised Met Entrance
Overheard by: Melissa
Crazy man to group of young women: Hello ladies, are you having a nice night? (women ignore him) You could just say "yes." I'm not Jack the Ripper, I'm not the Boston Strangler…look at you, walking all fancy and shit!
–125th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Anna
Tourist girl: Y'all, Times Square is so fancy. They have a red lobster!
–Times Square
Hobo: Red lobster? What kind of fancy guy do you know? You're lucky if I can buy you a slice of pizza.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: hungry4biscuits
Crazy guy on subway: You have to hold onto your valuables, your Christmas presents, your fancy lingerie…because if you put them down, someone will take them. People are really fast around here. Men, women, transvestites…transvestites are really fond of fancy lingerie.
–Northbound R Train
Overheard by: ElizabethB
Chunky lady to skinny friend who ordered a Diet Coke: Bitch, I will slap the shit out of you with this pizza…I'll eat it, too. I don't even care.
–14th St b/w 3rd & 4th Ave
Wasted guy, placing order: A slice of pizza on the rocks.
–1st Ave & 20th St
Overweight Paris Hilton wannabe, loudly on cell: No, the food wasn't like, out of this world, like what I'm used to. No…not really. I'd say more like a touch of Greece–with maybe Turkish or Egyptian. I mean, it's almost impossible to find a good slice of pizza in the city nowadays.
–Crowded LIRR Train
Overheard by: CV
little girl to parents: I like mine with salt, pepper and bone.
–La Rocca's Pizzaria, Staten Island
Overheard by: Dawn D.
Female suit to friends: Oh no, I can't. I save my pizza binge-eating for when I'm drunk.
–Ave of the Americas
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Tourist: Oooh, there's a really good pizza place down here somewhere, Sbarro.
–Basement, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pop pop
Six-year-old to friends: We should have an Obama pizza party!
–Park Slope
Hungover girl to friend: I can't eat this pizza, it tastes like vagina.
Friend: I wish my vagina tasted like pizza.
–Artichoke Pizza, 14th St
Overheard by: Shelli Silverstein
Girlfriend: Imagine the whole world was covered in pizza boxes. (pauses in deep though) That would be a lot of pizza boxes!
Boyfriend: You dumb.
–Colombia University Campus
Hobo: Can you spare a donation to the united negro pizza fund?
–120th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Mikey T
Hobo: Would you like to make a donation to the united negro pastrami fund?
–21st & Park Ave
Overheard by: Lawrence C
Hobo: Hello ladies, would you like to donate to the united negro pastrami sandwich fund?
–Broadway, SoHo
Bum on street: Please give to the united negro pizza fund.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Squid
Hobo: Contribute to the united negro pastrami sandwich fund!
–Prince & Wooster
Black hobo to tourists: Would you like to donate to the united negro pastrami fund?
–Bleecker & Leroy
Overheard by: Lynn
Hobo: Please give to to the united negro pizza fund. A pepperoni is a terrible thing to waste. (30 minutes later) What's the best nation? A do-nation!
–Outside Buddha Bar
Fat woman: Where do you want to eat?
Fat man: I don’t know. I’m kind of in the mood for Pizza Hut.
Fat woman: But Wendy’s is healthier…
–14th St
Hipster to sobbing girl: Hey, do you want some pizza? Come on, I’ll buy you a slice of pizza. [She keeps crying.] Vegan pizza?
–N 7th & Bedford
Girl #1: Can we get thin crust pizza instead?
Girl #2: Are you a fucking faggot?
–12th & Ave A
Overheard by: Liz
