Race

Asian guy: But it’s the 21st century!
White guy: That’s true, but there’s always a place for racism.

–13th between 7th & 8th

Overheard by: E. Jung

A preppy boy whistles and waves at a cab. The cab ignores him, and as it passes the boy yells: What’s your problem, am I Black or something?

–Park & 55th

Teenage girl #1: So Judge Judy is a racist.
Teenage girl #2: Isn’t she in charge of all the New York judges, don’t they all report to her?
Teenage girl #3: Nah, I think she’s just in charge of the TV judges.

–2 train

Overheard by: Lisa Marshall

White homeboy #1: Son, I saw this comedian on TV last night, this black comedian–
White homeboy #2: Son, black guys are always so funny!

–Vanderbilt YMCA, East 47th Street

Overheard by: Palaverist

Black guy: They’re taking over! Where the shit am I supposed to eat?

–Rivington Street

Customer: I’ll have a slice of the eggplant.
Pizza guy: You know that’s organic right?
Customer: That’s fine. How long have you guys been organic?
Pizza guy: Oh, about 2 weeks now. The white girls are loving it.

–Delancey & Essex pizzeria

Overheard by: Brian

Dad (to son, 6): Do you want to go to Cafe Pertutti or Oren’s Daily Roast?

–Morningside Heights

Overheard by: RPK

Hipster #1: But you’re not even Chinese!
Hipster #2: That doesn’t matter.
Hipster #1: It does because any non-Asian person who eats with chopsticks is pretentious.
Hipster #2: I’m not pretentious because I’m an American who uses chopsticks; I’m pretentious because I speak fluent Latin.

–103rd St. station

Black kid #1: …you mean the gay nigger?
Black kid #2: No, the black-brown nigger.

–outside Boerum Hill Food Company, Smith Street

Construction worker: …it was like, the biggest skull ever found or
some shit.

–44th & Madison

Teenage girl: I failed the math test so I told Ma I ain’t gonna graduate in June. I ain’t gotta do anything but stay black and die.

–6 train

Girl with hideous fur hat: How were the interviews today?
Girl with birkenstocks and socks: They didn’t hire the black candidate. They suck.
Girl with hideous fur hat: Why not?
Girl with birkenstocks and socks: Because he had a big dick, duh.
Girl with hideous fur hat: Oh, OK.

–5th Avenue & 54th Street

Overheard by: Julia

Old black man: Do you believe in black Jesus or white Jesus?
White girl: White Jesus.
Old black man: I knew there was something wrong with you the minute I saw you.

–2 Train

Short white guy: Y'know, you remind me of James Earl Jones.
Tall white guy: Who'zat?
Short white guy: What?
Tall white guy: Oh, wait, is he black?
Short white guy: No, I think he's Chinese.
Tall white guy: I have a Chinese friend.

–W 4th St & Jane

Overheard by: Anthony