Half-Asian girl: Yeah, somehow when you’re Asian, you’re related to everybody.
Confused guy: Really?
–29th & 9th
Overheard by: Jesse
Half-Asian girl: Yeah, somehow when you’re Asian, you’re related to everybody.
Confused guy: Really?
–29th & 9th
Overheard by: Jesse
Hobo #1: ‘Nigger’ is the new ‘fuck.’
Hobo #2: Say what, nigga?
Hobo #1: I say ‘nigger’ is the new ‘fuck.’
Hobo #2: What you talkin’ ’bout, muthafuckah?
Hobo #1: Used to be, you wanna shock people, you say ‘fuck.’ ‘Fuck’ don’t shock nobody no mo’. E’rybody say ‘fuck’ now. But you say ‘nigger’ and motherfuckers be divin’ under tables, people lose they jobs, lawsuits be flyin’ every which-a-way…
Hobo #2: That’s only white people, man.
–E 157th & Walton, Bronx
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl: I love watching people on subways.
Guy: I know, right? I like making short poems 'bout them, too. (points discretely at JAP across subway car) “Slutty white girl looks around train. Adjusts boobs. Looks around again.”
–1 Train
Black guy: Why would a young black girl dye her hair blonde? Looks terrible, y’know.
Whitey: Um, yeah. Bad idea.
Black guy: Bitch looked like a burnt grilled cheese sandwich.
–One Penn Plaza
White hipster #1: Yeah, I just moved into a place in Bushwick. I’m the only black guy for, like, five miles.
Other white hipsters stare at him.
White hipster #1: What?
–Yale Club, Vanderbilt Ave
Obese black man #1 playing loud obscene rap song: What she looking at? (points to two old Russian women at the front of bus) Man, these white people. Don't they know this is a free fuckin' country?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I'm tellin you, now that Obama's elected, white people are gonna know what the fuck's up.
–Q63 Bus
Overheard by: filemeunder
Loud teenage guidette: He doesn’t date!
Ugly teenage guidette: Yeah, he’s gay or something. I heard—yeah.
Loud teenage guidette: No, no, he’s protestant—like religious. They worship this Chinese guy…
Ugly teenage guidette: Oh, I heard about that! They don’t date?
Loud teenage guidette: They don’t date white people.
–Starbucks
Conductor: This is a Manhattan-bound number three train; next stop is Sutter avenue-Rutland road; stand clear of the closing doors please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: Please do not block the doors, stand clear, please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: Do not block the doors. Stand clear, please.
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: For the last motherfucking time, do not block the fucking doors! I know you ghetto-ass niggas don’t care about school, but some people want to get the fuck to work! Stand clear!
[Doors close and open again.]Conductor: I can’t fucking take this shit.
–3 Train
Overheard by: Morel Farember
Chick: So what are the most dangerous places in New York these days?
Dude #1: I don’t know. Hell’s Kitchen used to be the worst.
Dude #2: What about Harlem?
Dude #1: I guess Harlem’s still bad, but it’s not like it used to be where everybody would be waiting around to stab lost white people.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl's mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug-eyed sunglasses on Sundays.
–Café, Lenox & 119th
