Rich people

Meet the Luckiest Girl in New York

Rich girl #1: So, let me get this straight — they weren’t even nice to you until after your brother died?!
Rich girl #2: It’s like they didn’t even know I was alive. My whole life was always, ‘Christopher this and that… Why can’t you be more like Christopher?’ Ugh, shut up!
Rich girl #1: That’s fucked up. Your parents are supposed to love everybody the same and now they’re trying to buy your love because they feel guilty. Seriously! They bought you a Cayenne and you didn’t even ask for it!
Rich girl #2: I guess it’s fucked up, but so what? My love happens to be for sale.

–Barneys

Overheard by: Sally

I Was Having a Near-Life Experience

Rich girl #1: Do you remember that time in Saratoga when I thought you were dead?
Rich girl #2: Yeah, but I wasn’t.

–Ladies’ room, Mall

Overheard by: Wishing She Had Been

I’m Also Starting to Suspect She’s Robin Williams in Drag

Rich blonde: So, how’s it going with the nanny?
Rich brunette: I don’t know. I’m thinking of firing her.
Rich blonde: Oh my god! Why?
Rich brunette: She says she’s identical twins with her sister, and they’re totally not identical.
Rich blonde: Yeah, that’s beyond annoying.

–Sushi Seki

Overheard by: Meredith

Wednesday One-Liners Went to Choate

Snob on cell: Could you do me a huuuge favor? Could you go outside and tell me what series BMW I own?

–69th & Lex

Overheard by: Bitter

Woman to another: I admire her strength so much… I don’t know how she did it! She raised three kids all by herself! Of course, she had her husband, but he doesn’t count. She still managed to raise three kids without a nanny or housekeeper! Can you imagine?

–Lex, Upper East Side

Overheard by: Chantell

JAP: Do we have a reservation?

–Outside Dean & Deluca, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: The Decline of the West

Fussy rich girl picking up a 710-dollar Prada wallet: This would, like, so be a great trinket for Missy for Christmas.

–Saks, 5th Ave

Overheard by: Kerri.

JAP on cell: I don’t think you will like Daniel, but he is worth meeting because he is a billionaire.

–25th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: I’d like Daniel

‘Sid Sodomy’ Would Be a Good Name for a Serial Killer, Though

Rich woman #1: Sodomized? Sodomy?
Rich woman #2: Dahmer. That’s who you’re thinking of. Jeffrey Dahmer.

–6 train, 23rd St

The AKC’S New Slogan

Park employee: Look, lady, if you want to have your dog off leash, you can bring it in after nine o’clock at night.
Upper-East-Side lady: Oh, that’s a great idea. I’ll just bring my dog into Central Park after nine…and get raped!
Park employee: What good is a dog if it can’t stop you from getting raped?

–Central Park, 85th St

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