Child with doll in tow: Mommy, I really want Mia.
Park avenue mom #1: Well, maybe. Wouldn’t it be cool if they just sold the heads?
Park Avenue mom #2, poking head out of stall: What?
Park Avenue mom #1: Like, if they just sold Julie’s head, or Addy’s head?
–American Girl Store Bathroom
Overheard by: Layla
Woman: You won’t take a fifty? Why won’t you take a fifty? This is outrageous! You don’t have a checker pen? You just check it with a checker pen! You need to get a checker pen. Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening!
Counter chick: It’s company policy, we can’t take fifties. Nothing bigger than a twenty. But this drink is on the house.
Woman: I don’t want it on the house! I want to pay!
Counter chick: Don’t worry about it. It’s on the house. You don’t have to pay.
Woman: Well, this is the craziest thing I ever heard! You won’t let me pay! This is my husband’s fault! He owns a nightclub and he won’t give me a credit card. All he gives me is cash from the till! All I have is fifties and hundreds! I have a whole purse full of them! And you won’t let me pay! I feel like I’m homeless or something! Oh my god, this is so embarrassing.
–Jamba Juice, 5th & 23rd
Overheard by: oliver tomorrow
Wealthy tourist man, pointing at a Starbucks: That must be one of those internet cafés.
–28th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dustin
Female shopper to Bloomingdale's cologne sprayer: Don't you dare spray your $30 over my $150.
–Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale's
Old lady on cell: I mean, it's just five million…
–Madison & 77th St
Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…
–Upper East Side
Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, "we're in a recession, let's go to Dolce."
–42nd St
Overheard by: I want a m6
Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.
–Paul's Cafe
Moneybags: I’m thinking about selling one of my sailboats. It got a leak in the dining room, so I figure why not?
–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Suit on cell: …yeah, I passed out with one shoe, but when I woke up they were both gone!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: ianr
Rich girl to friend: I couldn’t decide between the Marc Jacobs sweater and the Dior jacket. It was like Sophie’s Choice.
–Outside NYU dorm
Rich lady on phone: Uh-huh, uh-huh, but what if we just put the tennis court where the house was? … Okay, okay, what if we demolish the existing tennis court and make that area the guest house again? Or create a glassed-in structure over the court instead?
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: mkp-hearts-nyc
Man lunching with friend: I mean, I never lost a million dollars before.
–55th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: ilegal browser
Dad to child in stroller, passing the park: What? You wanted to go in there? I thought you said you wanted to go to Marc Jacobs.
–Hudston St
Overheard by: Colleen
20-ish girl: Fuck my dad. How selfish can you be? If I want to live on West 11th, then fucking buy the flat on West 11th. Ugh. Sorry. Can I get another dirty martini?
–The Village
WASP lady: She’s not even nouveau riche — she is just nouveau!
–A Voce, 26th & Madison
Rich Girl: Wow Mallory, you have such a busy week coming up. It’s a good thing you don’t have a job.
Mallory: Yeah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Danger
Rich girl #1: It’s really hard to find guys at this school.
Rich girl #2: Oh, yeah? Why?
Rich girl #1: Because half the guys here are gay, and if they’re not gay, they’re Jewish.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: student
Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: Adam Bertocci
Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!
–M14 bus
Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!
–14th between 5th & University
Overheard by: theNJl
Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.
–Starbucks, 27th & Park
Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.
–Metro-North Rail
Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: STC
Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oneofmanymikes
Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.
–94th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: venniblue
Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?
–Broadway & 21st St
