Queer #1: He’s been with his boyfriend for seven weeks and they’re moving in together.
Queer #2: Really?
Queer #1: Yeah, and they’re even going to gay week at Disneyworld! I’m so jealous.
Queer #2: What’s gay week?
Queer #1: It’s this week where gays from all over the world go to Disneyworld to go on roller coasters and fuck.
–N train
Overheard by: G-dogg
Seventh grader #1: When you get a Brazilian wax they wax in your butt, too!
Seventh grader #2: I don’t think I have hair in my butt.
Seventh grader #3: Actually, one time in sixth grade you bent over and I saw it.
–Locker room, Asphalt Green, 90th & York
Frat boy #1, reading his playbill: Oh, dude, Beauty and the Beast is closing.
Frat boy #2: Oh, yeah?
Frat boy #1: Yeah, man. I caught the magic.
–Shubert Theatre
Overheard by: Sarah
Babe #1: Ew, did you know that a teaspoon of sperm contains five calories?
Babe #2: Have you ever swallowed?
Babe #1: Yes.
Babe #2: Ew. That is fucking nasty.
Babe #1: Have you?
Babe #2: Yeah.
–Astoria Blvd
Counter girl #1 : That’s that shit you gotta get — a douche.
Counter girl #2 : Nah, I don’t fuck around with that shit.
Counter girl #1 : No, but that’s what gets you tight again!
Counter girl #2 : Oh, then I definitely need to get me some of that!
–Duane Reade, 88th & Broadway
Overheard by: Evan
Student #1: I don’t know, man, I need a crazy girl. These law school girls are too stiff.
Student #2: How so?
Student #1: Like, they would only let you fuck them face-to-face.
–NYU Law School
Overheard by: Geez
Man #1: Hey, are you gellin’ like Magellan, ya cocksuckin’ bastard?
Man #2: I’m so gellin’, I fuckin’ raped Magellan in 1492 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue, before World War Two in 1942.
–Outside Madame Tussaud’s, 42nd St
Overheard by: These guys are so not gellin’
Hipster girl #1: Can you be emo with a big dick?
Hipster girl #2: No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure it has to be small for you to be emo.
Hipster girl #1: Sir! Excuse me, sir! Can I ask you a question? Can you be emo with a big dick or a small dick?
Passerby: Probably small.
Hipster girl #2: See?! I told you.
–Prince & Mercer
Overheard by: I guess I can’t be emo
Bimbette #1: There’s this castle on the West coast… I think it belongs to the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, he seems like a West coast kind of guy.
–Train from Poughkeepsie to Manhattan
Dude: On the full moon he’s going to sprout Lee Press On nails!
Chick: I can’t believe he got bit by a tranny…
–Union Square
