Young man #1: You are better qualified for the job, right?
Young man #2: Yeah, but you know Father McLeavy is a clergical whore.
–B train
Young man #1: You are better qualified for the job, right?
Young man #2: Yeah, but you know Father McLeavy is a clergical whore.
–B train
30-ish woman #1: Did you hear what happened to Peter?
30-ish woman #2: Yeah, and I can’t believe his father did it!
30-ish woman #1: Yeah, that’s much worse than if it was, like, their neighbor!
–15th & Union Square West
Overheard by: Can’t believe he did it either!
Slacker: … So I told them, stick close behind me and I’ll get you out of this. And there was about five of them, and they stuck close behind me and I got them all out.
Slackerette: And you were Johnny-on-the-spot with my overflow toilet!
–15th & 8th
Black guy #1: Yes, well, we look alike because we’re fraternal twins.
Black guy #2: Yeah, you didn’t know we were brothers?
White guy: Everyone said you guys were brothers, but I figured they meant ‘brothas’ and not actual brothers.
Black guy #1: Oh… Okay. Hey, look, we’re at Shea.
–LIRR, Shea Stadium
Teen #1: So, apparently the average human vagina is only 4 inches deep.
Teen #2: No fucking way, dude.
Teen #1: Yeah, so I guess having a huge dick isn’t very helpful in that case.
Teen #2: You hear that? Your eight inches are useless!
Teen #3: Excuse me for having a bigger dick than you.
–F train
Overheard by: mystery man
Lady: I’m pretty sure I think about sex a lot less than other women my age. I mean, I never ever really wanted to have sex with anyone, and the only people I have ever had sex with have been those to throw themselves at me…
Male friend: What about other women?
Lady: I don’t think any women ever really want to have sex. I think they just do it out of pressure and curiosity, because really, it’s not that good.
–Sri Lankan restaurant, 5th & 1st
Dude #1: We need more females for spring break… Who else can we invite? Nicole?
Dude #2: But then Joe will have to come, and I don’t care for him.
Dude #1: Julie says he’s changed since high school, though. Like, matured.
Dude #2: Hmmm, interesting.
Dude #1: Yeah, food for thought… Or for starving children in Somalia.
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Peter G.
Biotech #1: Look, there’s that creepy old librarian that used to work at the library at school!
Biotech #2: She was so gross! Every day I would go in to check out a book for a class and another one of her fingers would be missing!
Biotech #1: Yeah, that’s probably why she left.
–Kiehl’s, 3rd Ave
Old black lady: She’s got to get her pregnant self right out of there. The two of them is cloak and dagger.
Old white friend: Yes.
Old black lady: They is just cloak and dagger.
–Doctor’s office, W 59th St
Overheard by: Susan V
JAP #1: Well, whatever, I’m over him.
JAP #2: I was never under him.
JAP #3: I was.
–Times Square
Overheard by: ella
