Black guy on stoop: Hey, baby, you got Medicaid?
Black lady passerby: I got black pussy!
–17th St, between 3rd & 4th Ave
Black guy on stoop: Hey, baby, you got Medicaid?
Black lady passerby: I got black pussy!
–17th St, between 3rd & 4th Ave
Angry guy in crosswalk: You should get a ticket!
Yielding cyclist, seemingly sincere: I love you!
Angry guy, passing: You should get a ticket!
Cyclist, pedaling off: I love you!
Angry guy, sheepishly: Thank you.
–70th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Andreas
Guy: I always run into you here! It’s like our little date time.
Chick: We’re not dating… but sure.
Guy: I know. I was trying to be cute, dammit!
Chick, laughing: I know… And you do a good job of it, but I still hate you.
Guy: I know, but it’s the kind of hate that can make this friendship work. [Long pause, then] God, that’s really fucked up.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Woman getting her watch fixed: Are you a Jew?
Watch kiosk guy: Yes.
Woman: Good! Very, very good! Wonderful!
Watch kiosk guy: Yes?
Woman: Yes! Very good! I’m a born-again Christian, and we love the Jews!
–Watch repair kiosk, Port Authority
Overheard by: I just like you cuz you have batteries!
Indian dude sitting outside laundromat: It wasn’t a baby! It wasn’t a real, white baby!
Blonde: It was a genuine baby!
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Skinny hipster reading Windorphins ad to two buddies, in droll voice: Not only that, they are somewhere between super and duper.
Chubby dude across from them: So, are you guys into Updike?
–5 train
Greenpeace volunteer: Hey! Hi! Sir, do you have a moment for the environment today?
20-something guy: Uhhh, no, I have therapy in 10 minutes.
–95th & Broadway
Overheard by: sean
Girl #1, about raffia ribbon: But the other place is like a dollar for three yards, so even if I don’t want a hundred yards, I’d probably buy ten of those, so it would be ten dollars plus shipping, meaning I’d spend about the same but only have thirty yards instead of a hundred. So even though I don’t need that many yards, I’d rather buy the hundred-yard spool just because it’s so much better a deal. But who needs a hundred yards of raffia ribbon?!
Girl #2: Is there anything else you can do with it?
Random guy: There’s so much you can do with raffia ribbon! You can wrap presents, do scrapbooking…! There are a million things!
–Canal & Hudson
Man, slamming on hood of taxi inching forward: Hey! I’m walkin’ here! [Turns to people behind him] Where’s that from?
Lady passerby: Midnight Cowboy!
–50th & Broadway
Hipster chick, about funeral procession: What the hell?! I need to cross!
Old goatee guy: Um, it’s a funeral.
Sensitive chick: Oooh, it’s a funeral.
Hipster chick: I’m going to cross anyway. Does that make me insensitive? [She and others cross.]Old goatee guy: Bitches.
–16th St & Prospect Park West
