Professor: … And who doesn’t want to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer?!
Girl: I don’t.
Professor: Well, fine. You’re a freak.
–NYU
Professor: … And who doesn’t want to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer?!
Girl: I don’t.
Professor: Well, fine. You’re a freak.
–NYU
Professor: Obviously, this was a very difficult sound to pronounce. Not Latin, Greek, or even Sanskrit uses it. It does not occur outside of the proto-Indo-European language.
Student: Why did they use it?
Professor: They didn’t.
Student: I mean the Indo-Europeans — if it was so difficult to pronounce, why would–
Professor, interrupting: Why the hell does anybody do anything?!
–Etymology class, Hunter College
Student: This case is about Chadha, who was born in Kenya to Indian parents–
Professor, interrupting: –But is that relevant to his deportation proceeding?
Student: It’s relevant to why nobody wants him.
–Fordham Law School
Young English teacher: So, what are the physically detrimental effects of plagiarism?
Student #1: Well, if you have very strict parents and you get caught, then they might skin you.
Student #2: Or if you copy it off your friend and get caught, they might skin you, too.
Young English teacher, excitedly: Right! Plagiarism can lead to mass skinnings.
–Stuyvesant High
Student: Old people sex?! Ewww!
71-year-old professor: Don’t you know that old people fuck like rabbits? We love it!
–NYU
Overheard by: Ash
Young English teacher: Yeah, so it takes me about 10 minutes to walk from my apartment to the subway, and on the way there’s this homeless guy on the corner who is always getting really angry at some invisible person. Then he disappeared for, like, two weeks, and I’m like, ‘Oh, he must’ve died — that’s so sad,’ but then he came back and I was like, ‘Okay, cool.’
Student: What does this have to do with The Odyssey?
Young English teacher: You guys really need to focus.
–Stuyvesant High
Student: I think social deviance is relative.
Professor: That’s a good theory. Explain it.
Student: Well, if you’re a New Yorker and a stranger goes up to you and says hi, you’d be like, ‘Why the hell are you talking to me?’ But if you’re from California, you’d be like, ‘Oh, hey, this stranger is saying hi to me!’
Professor: That’s because everyone in California is perpetually on crack.
–Sociology, Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Professor, as student’s phone rings in class: Wow, that was loud. What band is that by?
Student: Well, I don’t remember what the song is called, but it’s by Panic! at the Disco.
Professor: Hmmm… I once panicked at the disco…
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Professor: What’s the second largest profession in the U.S.?
Jersey dude: Prostitutes!
–NYU
Professor: What words do we get from the name Aphrodite?
Student #1: Hermaphrodite.
Professor: Yes — from the union of Aphrodite and Hermes. What else?
Student #2: Aphrodisiac!
Professor: Good! And what is an aphrodisiac?
Students: [Silence.]Professor: Are you all Victorians? Come on… What’s it called when one uses something to arouse sexual appetite?
Student #3: Necrophiliac! [Class laughs.]Professor: I have to advise you to invest in a dictionary, as it’s simply prudent to know the difference between a necrophiliac and an aphrodisiac. Hopefully, you won’t ever need to thank me for that.
–NYU
Overheard by: Cairo
