Creepster #1: Oh, man! I’m scared I’d never be able to have sex again.
Creepster #2: Naw, man, it isn’t that bad. Just make sure they pierce it in the right spot.
–9th & 6th
Creepster #1: Oh, man! I’m scared I’d never be able to have sex again.
Creepster #2: Naw, man, it isn’t that bad. Just make sure they pierce it in the right spot.
–9th & 6th
Girl: It’s like, ‘Awww, you must really like me! You want to lick my ass!’
Guy: Yeah, I’m the Sally Field of analingus.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Super Mel
Queer #1: Do you love me?
Queer #2, holding his hand: No.
Queer #1: Then why are you holding my hand?
Queer #2: ‘Cause that’s what we’re supposed to do in public!
–The Village
Tourist #1, looking at Papaya Dog: What is that? A hot dog made of fruit?
Tourist #2, looking around, embarrassed: Can someone take him off my hands? No, we’ll take you somewhere and get you a hot dog that’s really made of meat.
–W 4th & Broadway
Overheard by: emilyc
Queer #1: Christians are the most vile creatures on this planet.
Queer #2: Shhh… They’ll hear you!
–13th St, between Greenwich & 7th Ave
French exchange student, pointing at American flag on school: Why are there so many flags?
Host mother: Well, there are flags on public buildings, and that’s a public school.
French exchange student: Is it a good school?
Host mother: No.
French exchange student: Is it bad, like in the movie?
Host mother: Not that bad, but not good.
–Houston & 7th Ave South
Fireman #1: You never hook me up!
Fireman #2: Uh…
Fireman #1: How many years have I known you, and you never once hooked me up?
Fireman #3: Well, that’s ’cause you’re disgusting.
–Fire Dept., Great Jones St
Girl: Yeah, so then Bob said–
Guy: –Wait, who’s Bob?
Girl: SpongeBob.
Guy: Oh, right, right.
–Sullivan & Bleecker
Girl: Men are dicks.
Friend: It’s alright. You’ll get a new guy soon — you’re cute!
Girl: I know. I’m just sad.
Friend: Well, the sun will come out tomorrow. Have you ever heard of it being cloudy forever? No, because that’s impossible… Except for after a nuclear holocaust, in which case you should just kill yourself.
–4th & Mercer
Girl #1: Imagine if you were still in that job!
Girl #2: I know. It was so bad… I would have quit by now. Wait, I did quit.
–Astor Pl
Overheard by: Thompson
