Thug #1: Yo, what’s really good?
Thug #2: Yo, man, I added you to my ‘Top Eight’ today.
Thug #1: No doubt!
–F train
Overheard by: cindy
Thug #1: Yo, what’s really good?
Thug #2: Yo, man, I added you to my ‘Top Eight’ today.
Thug #1: No doubt!
–F train
Overheard by: cindy
Large thug #1: Yo, man, I cry!
Large thug #2: When you cry last?
Large thug #1: Like, two weeks ago.
Large thug #2: Oh, yeah? What you cry over?
Large thug #1: There was a sad part of Desperate Housewives.
–54th & Broadway
Overheard by: nyparker
Thug #1: Man, I still can’t believe you like Britney Spears! Ain’t no real nigga likes Britney Spears! That’s some dumb shit, man. Stupid shit.
Thug #2: Whoa, hol’ up a second — Britney Spears is a nice, attractive woman, and I respect her. How can that possibly be dumb? What the hell’s wrong with that?
Thug #1: Nigga, did you hear what you just said? You ain’t just stupid, you gay!
–3 train
Overheard by: Mike N
Thug #1, with meowing kitten in backpack: Yo, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m gonna snap ya neck. You about to get clapped by ya master.
Thug #2, with litter box: Yeah, son — about to get clapped.
–Broadway Junction
Effeminate thug: Look at all the couples around us! They’re happy! Why can’t we be like that?!
Bimbette: I’m happy!
Effeminate thug: Well, I’m not. I don’t understand why you have to keep lying to me and acting like it’s all a joke.
Bimbette: Because I’m happy!
Effeminate thug: That’s it, I’m leaving.
Bimbette: Want a blowjob?
Effeminate thug: … Okay.
–R train
Overheard by: Yvo
White mom: Which kitty is your favorite?
Little girl holding book of baby animals: The black one!
Mom: The black one? He sure is a cute kitty.
Little girl, loudly: Once you go black, you never go back!
Passing thug, flashing her a thumbs-up: Word!
White mom: I don’t care what your father says, we are so moving to Westchester.
–Commodore Barry Park, Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Straightfaced, but barely
High school thug #1: Man, you doin’ any feasible shit?
High school thug #2: Feasible? What’s that?
High school thug #1: Feasible is that… That’s some shit, man.
High school thug #2: Naw, man, I ain’t been goin’ to school.
–C train, 86th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Thugette: So, what you gonna do about him, then?
Thug: I swear to God, he even tries it again, I will pee on his face.
Thugette: You what?
Thug: No, seriously, I will. I will pee. On. His. Face.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Katie
Thug, screaming: Get that shit off me, yo! Get that shit off me!
Queer holding potted plant: Relax, it can’t hurt you.
Thug: Get that Jurassic Park shit away from me! That shit suck yo’ finger off — I seen it!
Queer, offended: It’s not a Venus fly trap, it’s celery.
Thug: Suck yo’ finger right off…!
–L train
Overheard by: LJ
Preppy girl: I don’t get it. How are you too busy to have sex but have enough time to get head?
Thug: Well, I don’t have to do any work. All I have to do is lie there.
Preppy girl: Oh, okay. What time should I come over?
–Ferry to Ellis Island
