Comedy club promoter: You girls like comedy clubs, right?
Girl: No, sorry.
Comedy club promoter: You must be from New Jersey.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lana S.
Comedy club promoter: You girls like comedy clubs, right?
Girl: No, sorry.
Comedy club promoter: You must be from New Jersey.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lana S.
Girl: Jordan*, are you in the special English class, too?
Jordan: Yeah.
Girl: Why are we in that class? Is it something like an advanced class?
Jordan: No, it’s more like a retard class…
–Times Square
Conductor: Are you going to work? Are you going somewhere? Let us know by getting out of train doors.
–R train, Lexington Ave stop
Bartender swinging nipple tassels: Can you believe they wouldn’t let me do this at my old job?!
–Bar, Broadway, between 76th & 77th
Overheard by: Lezbotron
IT guy: I can break whatever I want, because I fix it!
–Office, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: beans
I-banker to two others: He got the bonus for people that don’t get bonuses.
–Metro-North
Comedy club flyer guy: I hate my job, and it’s all your fault!
–Times Square
30-something hippie at show: 2008 is the year that I get a job.
–New Year’s Eve concert
Overheard by: Smash
Guy: Did you hear about that guy that fell from a 47th floor and survived?
Girl: No.
Guy: It’s crazy! The paramedics found him conscious, too.
Girl: Wow. Can you help me upload my Jingle Ball photos to my Kodak account?
–1500 Broadway
Girl #1: How often do you get wet?
Girl #2: Oh my god, we’re in public!
Girl #1: Well, I was just wondering, because everybody back home thinks you’re such a slut!
Girl #2: Piss off! At least I’m not a fire crotch!
Girl #1: Don’t you ever call me that ever again, or I’ll delete you off my Top Eight on MySpace!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Andrew
Father to screaming toddler: Y’know, some people ran 26 miles today, and I’m only asking you to walk a block!
–Times Square
Drunk woman in long fur coat: Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me! I gotta pee!
Tourist: Yeah, we’ve been waiting for a while. [Nods in direction of unattended mop soaking in bucket, and laughs] I mean, you could always use that thing, I guess.
Drunk woman: Okay, alright — just tell me if anyone is coming! [Hikes up coat and begins to pee in bucket.]Tourist: Jesus Christ! I’ve been here one day, and I’m responsible for encouraging public urination.
–Line for restroom, McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: wish i’d thought of that
Boy looking at action figures in window: Which of these do you like best?
Girl: I’m not sure… Definitely not George Bush.
Boy, pointing to Albert Einstein: I don’t like him. He invented the atomic bomb and killed loads of people.
–Times Square
Angry kid: Man, I’m tired of seeing that naked white fag with the guitar all the time.
Friend: Your dad?
Angry kid: No, you dumb fuck! That freak over there — he’s in postcards and shit. He’s like a celebrity, kinda.
Friend: I think that’s your dad…
Angry kid: Fuck you, ho.
–TKTS station, Times Square
Tourist #1: This is the entrance, that’s the exit! You need to wait your turn in line to get out the right way.
Tourist #2, plowing through gate: Pshhh. Tourists!
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Ava
