Teen boy: So when you said you loved her, did you say you loved her booty?
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Mom, to her kids: Your mama’s booty is gonna come in handy tonight!
–41st & 3rd
Overheard by: allison
Teen boy: So when you said you loved her, did you say you loved her booty?
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Mom, to her kids: Your mama’s booty is gonna come in handy tonight!
–41st & 3rd
Overheard by: allison
Thug: Yo, baby! You so sexy! You look just like Ugly Betty!
–26th & Lex
Overheard by: Myrtle
Wandering popcorn vendor : Popcorn! Get your sexy popcorn here!
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Mets Fan
Ghetto mom to young sons: Where my sexy glasses at?!
–W 96th St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Megan W.
Teen thugette: You know who sexy? Mickey Mouse. That nigga sexy!
–Q11 bus, Queens
Jogger: I’m checking out my shadow to see how long my hair is in the back — it’s fuckin’ sexy!
–Central Park
Man: I love sexy cheese. I love sexy cheese!
–Outside Fordham University
Overheard by: …sexy cheese?
Tourist grandpa: I’m going to sit here. Do you want a snack?
Tourist grandson: Sure.
Tourist grandpa: Here’s some money. Go over there and buy yourself something. And if you can find somebody nice, ask where we can get some cheesecake.
–Greeley Square
Overheard by: Nick Turner
Hasidic boy: Poppola, I heard a rumor that when a cow gets a cut from the milking machine, and blood gets in the milk…they have to turn it into chocolate milk, so people won’t know it’s there.
Hasidic grandpa: We should be so lucky!
–4 train
Overheard by: Raden Mutter
Woman: I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe I’m being charged in connection with this crime. I mean she’s the one–she’s the one who committed manslaughter.
–Elevator, Macy’s
Cashier girl: You know, we haven’t gotten robbed in a while. I can’t believe it!
–Blockbuster, 94th & Broadway
Man: If I had anything to say him it would be this: prison is going to be hard on you because fraud is a crime!
–E train platform, 14th St
Overheard by: Cameron Rose
Dude: I’m just glad to be off the FBI’s Most Wanted list.
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Guy on cell: Guess who I interviewed today? This guy got sent to jail twice for sodomy…I had to call him back after I read that…But at least he’s not, like, a thief or something. I bet those two tear drops were for the guys he fucked.
–Union Square
Overheard by: confabulation nation
20-Something guy: It wouldn’t look good on your job application if you got arrested.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Kathy
Cop, arresting a man: I understand that, but you know it’s not really about being a good guy or being a bad guy. It’s about you taking that nice woman’s wallet.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: SUSAN
Newspaper vendor: Come on, people! Buy this right-wing rag! Buy it!
–41st & 6th
Overheard by: M. Hutchinson
Shop owner: Come inside! Come on our floors! Come everywhere!
–Canal Street store
Overheard by: Casey D.
Guy on cell: I’m just out here trying to sell comedy club tickets to upper middle class White people. What are you doing?
–Broadway & 46th
Flyer guy: Eyebrow threading! Eyebrow threading! That’s right, mo more crooked-ass eyebrows!
–35th & 7th
Overheard by: Johnny Peppas
Queer: I just want to work on my arms. I don’t need to bother with abs — I’ll just spray them on.
–New York Sports Club, 23rd St
Lady in elevator to grandma with walker: That M.A.C Stuff is like spackle! It stays on for hours!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: nuck
Columbia co-ed: I always put on makeup when I’m drunk. It’s such a bad idea!
–114th St & Broadway
Overheard by: tired of Morningside Heights
Young girl: Mom, can I get my Social Studies teacher a gift? I’ma get her some lotion, ’cause she mad ashy! Yo, I ain’t even lyin’. I ain’t even lyin’…
–Steinway St, Astoria
Ghetto chick hanging up cell angrily: Great! He gone messed up my day! Now I’m definitely getting my hair and nails did!
–Wendy’s, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: Jesus Jon
Woman: She said she want to make more than 8 dollars. I said, “Honey, you ain’t makin’ no 20 dollars unless you sell drugs.”
–Bowery
Overheard by: Stephanie Emilienburg
Girl on cell: I think the truth is rotting into your brain, that’s why you’re getting migraines.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Rych
Black woman, looking at Nacho Libre poster: I don’t wanna see any foreign shit. Fuck that!
–AMC theatre, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: K Smith
Woman with white dog to woman with black dog: He’s only barking because he isn’t used to seeing that kind of dog.
–Central Park
Dude: Man, I wish I had a doorknob.
–34th & 8th
Hustler on cell: I just wish you wasn’t being all one-track-mind-your-own-business about this.
–Chinatown
Hobo: Can anybody help a disabled Navy veteran get something to eat? If you help me buy a sandwich, you’ll get a 2007 Zagat for half price. [A suit gives him money but declines the Zagat.] Okay, but I really wish someone would buy the Zagat.
–4 train
Overheard by: Fagat
Guy on cell: You just wish you were my baby’s mama!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Hipster: … So he said, ‘I wish Jesus was alive now. I’d invite him to join MySpace.com and I’d force him to be my friend.’
–Q train crossing the East River
Overheard by: Beth Smith
Hobo: There’s a Republican in Greenwich Village! [Sirens sound nearby.] Better watch out!
–W 12th & 8th
Overheard by: nyamelia
Excited man on cell: It’s a White House colonic!
–17th & 6th
Seven-year-old girl with silent parents: Spitzer won! Spitzer won! Spitzer won!
–8th Ave, Park Slope
20-ish guy on cell: What do you mean, ‘Bush will get re-elected in ’08’? Didn’t you go to fuckin’ grade school and learn about the two term limit on the presidency? Okay, yeah, I’ll be over for dinner tonight… Love ya, Mom! Bye!
–W 41st & 7th
Hipster dude to another: That girl told me she was a Republican, and I fucked her in the ass all night long. That was the best ass sex I ever had.
–Clinton St & 3rd Pl, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Terry
Customer: I’d like a grande hazelnut latte and a new president.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Grady
