Guy: Excuse me, I wanted to know if any black women would go out with me. If I were the last man on Earth, would you go out with me? [Black lady does not respond.] What if there were 20 minutes until the end of the world? [Still no response, so guy addresses another lady.] What about you? Would you go out with me?
Woman: What’s the point?
Guy: Alright, let’s start from the beginning… [Holding up gallon of apple juice] I have some apple juice — will you split it with me?
–Union Square station
Woman #1: Don’t step on those leaves!
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: This is why I don’t come to Manhattan — all these goddamn trees. I hate leaves.
–Grand & Essex
Overheard by: wb
Headline by: Gunther
Runners-Up:
· “But I Love the Black Gum Splotches On The Sidewalk” – Naked Lunch
· “Hobos, on the Other Hand, Are Manhattan’s Welcome Mat” – Kristin
· “In Jersey We Don’t Have to Put Up with This Crap” – PeterG
· “There’s Nothing a New Yorker Won’t Hate” – Volante
· “This Is Why I Hate Leaving the Bunker.” – sweetchuck
Woman: I like tuna, but… you know, like, sometimes the smell’s bad.
Queer: Yeah… Especially when it’s not your own.
–Bleecker & Crosby
Woman #1: Are we going skiing this winter?
Woman #2: I don’t think so. Why?
Woman #1: I have to get some casual clothes. I looked in my closet, and it’s so serious. You know, someone asked me if I was a Republican! I need to get some fun clothes.
Woman #2: Wow, we worry about such different things.
Woman #1: Well, that’s because no one ever thought you were a Republican.
–6 train
Overheard by: Nicole
Woman on cell: Oh, I almost forgot — I heard a Muslim fart today! I know! I knew you’d be excited!
–JFK
Overheard by: Kate
Fat woman, panting: Slow down! I can’t run in these heels.
Thin woman: You can’t run in that ass.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: invid
Old lady with dog in stroller: I’ve met you before.
Old lady with three dogs on a leash: Oh, really? Where?
Old lady with dog in stroller: You were at the nail shop. You asked me about my unitard.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Man, slamming on hood of taxi inching forward: Hey! I’m walkin’ here! [Turns to people behind him] Where’s that from?
Lady passerby: Midnight Cowboy!
–50th & Broadway
Woman #1: I hate my life… But I can’t leave my husband — I love him.
Woman #2: But your fucking husband is sleeping with three other women–
Woman #1: –I know!
–40th & 6th
Overheard by: jimbo
Woman: Why do they have to call it the ‘feminine care aisle’?
Friend: I know! Why can’t they just write ‘Tampons’?
–CVS, Park Ave South
