Woman #1: Hey! Look! Trees!
Woman #2: No, you can't get one. Not after you killed the last one we gave you.

De Anza Flea Market
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Old man: I recently had surgery. What was it I had removed? Something that starts with a ‘P’…
Old lady: Was it your pancreas?
Old man: No… It wasn’t my penis, either, because I definitely still have that.

L.L. Bean Outlet
Wareham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Amanda

Man: I'm too old for overnight adventures.
Woman: You're too married.


Overheard by: garage girl #1

Grandmother, about tantrum-throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we'll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That's not what I meant.

Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang

Woman: I wish I hadn't had hooters for breakfast!

Fitting Room
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.

Ocala, Florida

Oblivious lady #1: I just don't know what to do with all of that junk back there.
Oblivious lady #2: Where, in your trunk?
Oblivious lady #1: Yeah, there's just so much junk in my trunk!

Guelph, Ontario

Woman, discussing Star Trek: It's like, I don't give a crap about the stupid Falcon death trap.


Overheard by: MoMo

50-something woman to friend: She's got a phenomenal voice–when she sings, it's like she has gills instead of lungs.


Overheard by: Raptor

Man: I’m giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you’re concerned with your figure?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Maggie