Women

B&T guy: Do you know where Ludlow Street is?
Woman: It’s that way, towards Jersey.

–Stanton & Suffolk

Guy: Is this where I get off?
Girl #1: No, 34th Street is next stop.
Guy: I wouldn’t know these things. I’m a tourist.
Girl #2: No you’re not!
Guy: I’m a tourist…from Queens.

–R train

Overheard by: Dani_Nisa

Man: So you went to the Champs Elysee in Paris?
Woman: Yeah, it was cool. Kinda like Madison Avenue, just smaller…

–Frank, 2nd Avenue

Overheard by: Englishman in NY

Woman #1: I should be on that monument.
Woman #2: Why, so you can scare everyone?

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Jon A.

Dogwalking woman: No! Come here! I said no! Stay!
Guy: Dude, take off your earphones.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Thompson Patton

Lady: So if I get the eggs, what does that come with?
Waiter: Potatoes, toast…
Lady: What kind of potatoes?
Waiter: French fries.
Lady: What other kind of potatoes do you have?
Waiter: Mashed potatoes, baked potato…
Lady: Oh, those don’t go with eggs. Well, since it’s extra you can leave it off.
Waiter: The potatoes come with the eggs.
Lady: Can I substitute bacon?
Waiter: I can bring you a side of bacon.
Lady: How many strips come in a side, two or three?
Waiter: Three.
Lady: Can I just have two?

–University Restaurant, University Place

Woman: Guess what? I just saw one of the Golden Girls on my way
here.
Hairqueer: Oh really? Which one?
Woman: I don’t know. She was the flirty one on the show. I guess
she was the prettiest one…
Hairqueer: Oh, Rue McClanahan! I’ve done her hair.

–Hair Salon, 47th & Lexington

Woman: His breath stinks. It smells like…it smells like shit to me. He’s gay, that’s why. He’s always suckin’ it, you know.

–Delancey Street station

Overheard by: Palaverist

Lady: Can I get a large chicken noodle soup? Without the chicken.

–Six Happiness, 2nd Avenue

Overheard by: nisey

Black guy: Yo, can I get a dollar for a hot dog?
White guy: Sorry. This is my last fiver.
White woman: Here ya go.
Black guy: That’ll do.
White woman: You could at least say thank you.
Black guy: I did. I was speaking ebonics.

–Gray’s Papaya, 8th Avenue

Overheard by: CRE