Woman: His penis was out, and it was as big as a baseball bat, and it reached his mouth. And all the kids were saying, “What’s that?”.
–New York Aquarium
Woman: His penis was out, and it was as big as a baseball bat, and it reached his mouth. And all the kids were saying, “What’s that?”.
–New York Aquarium
Old lady #1: What are you eating? It smells good.
Old lady #2: Nicorette.
–DR2 theater, E. 15th Street
Ticket lady: I’m sorry, no pets allowed.
Woman: But even if the dog is in a bag?
–Central Park
Overheard by: armur
Photographer lady: They didn’t de-jowl him, which surprised me.
–Once Upon a Tart, Sullivan Street
Overheard by: Sara T.
B&T guy: Do you know where Ludlow Street is?
Woman: It’s that way, towards Jersey.
–Stanton & Suffolk
Guy: Is this where I get off?
Girl #1: No, 34th Street is next stop.
Guy: I wouldn’t know these things. I’m a tourist.
Girl #2: No you’re not!
Guy: I’m a tourist…from Queens.
–R train
Overheard by: Dani_Nisa
Man: So you went to the Champs Elysee in Paris?
Woman: Yeah, it was cool. Kinda like Madison Avenue, just smaller…
–Frank, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Englishman in NY
Woman #1: I should be on that monument.
Woman #2: Why, so you can scare everyone?
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Jon A.
Dogwalking woman: No! Come here! I said no! Stay!
Guy: Dude, take off your earphones.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Thompson Patton
Lady: So if I get the eggs, what does that come with?
Waiter: Potatoes, toast…
Lady: What kind of potatoes?
Waiter: French fries.
Lady: What other kind of potatoes do you have?
Waiter: Mashed potatoes, baked potato…
Lady: Oh, those don’t go with eggs. Well, since it’s extra you can leave it off.
Waiter: The potatoes come with the eggs.
Lady: Can I substitute bacon?
Waiter: I can bring you a side of bacon.
Lady: How many strips come in a side, two or three?
Waiter: Three.
Lady: Can I just have two?
–University Restaurant, University Place
