Lady: Ooh, is that a tampon in your bag?
Man: No, no, no. Come on, it’s a manpon.
–Tonic, Norfolk Street
Overheard by: Sarah
Lady: Ooh, is that a tampon in your bag?
Man: No, no, no. Come on, it’s a manpon.
–Tonic, Norfolk Street
Overheard by: Sarah
Clerk lady #1: So, like, my kid dropped my cell into the toilet last week.
Clerk lady #2: Oh yeah?
Clerk lady #1: I had to recharge it for over a week before it worked.
Clerk lady #2: Hmm.
Clerk lady #1: When I made a call to my friend, it was all static. And the buttons didn’t work. A few days later my kid picks the phone up and says: “I threw your cell in the toilet! Ha ha!”
Guy: …you took it out of the toilet first, right?
–Duane Reade, 49th & 9th
Overheard by: BBW
Fat White drunk woman: Maybe you got it from someone in our building, or all those transvestites you fucked.
Sobbing Hispanic man: But baby, I didn’t fuck that many, it’s not my fault!
–Fordham Road, The Bronx
Woman #1: That skirt was terrible. I looked like I just got off the boat!
Woman #2: What boat?
Woman #1: …The boat from Ireland.
–Macy’s
White woman: Cough it up, Sadie! Cough it up!…Why would people put chicken bones in the garbage?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Carrie McLaren
Woman #1: She called to say she was sorry for hooking up with my ex.
Woman #2: How surprised were you?
Woman #1: I literally dropped dead as soon as she said it.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Dee McCallum
Woman: You don’t get any overage? That’s ridiculous. You got to switch to Cingular.
Man: But I hear the service isn’t so good.
Woman: Yeah that’s true, the service sucks. But at least you get overage.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Middle-aged woman: Whatever happened to that guy you were in love with?
Young woman: We weren’t in love, just seriously in like.
Middle-aged woman: So, what happened to him?
Young woman: I had him deported.
–64th & Broadway
Woman: I stopped smoking six months ago, and now I’m lubricating so much better. I’m always wet at the right time.
–Lexington & 55th Deli
Guy: Is it raining?
Girl: No.
Guy: Then why the fuck am I getting wet?
Girl: Because it’s drizzling.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Guy #1: She says she usually needs to make out for like a half hour before she starts to get wet.
Guy #2: You should just use your spit.
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: J.
Old lady: Your dog is beautiful!
Young lady: Than–
Old lady: It’s terrible what they do to those dogs in China. I won’t even say but it’s awful…Chinese people don’t even deserve to live.
–Sunnyside post office
