Blonde WASP: Yeah, and Kristen’s hot!
Brunette WASP: But only once you get to know her…
Blonde WASP: Yeah, you’re totally right… She kinda looks like Marilyn Manson.
Brunette WASP: Oh my god, it’s true! But in a hot way.
Blonde WASP, later on: He totally had to get a septuplet bypass.
Brunette WASP: That sounds so bad.
Blonde WASP: Yeah, they take veins from your leg! He was so fat.
–N train
Overheard by: JayTro
Tranny throw-down in the middle of the street blocks traffic.
Man on cell: Come across the street — there’s a tranny fight!
Woman looking down subway stairs: You’re missing the action!
Trendy girl to boyfriend: Ugh, fighting in front of Starbucks? Real classy.
–Grove St & 7th Ave
Lady suit: Did you bring that from the office?
Suit #1, holding up expensive pen: Oh, yeah, to look official. You know, for self-importance.
Suit #2: Yeah, self-esteem has been bad this week.
Lady suit: I think we need to go out drinking.
–Starbucks, 21st & 5th
Overheard by: maybe they could order a coffee liquer?
Black woman #1: Who’s that big girl in your store?
Black woman #2: [Laughs.]Black woman #1: She is really big! And she looks young, too.
Black woman #2: [Nods head.]Black woman #1: How old is she?
Black woman #2: Twenty-two.
Black woman #1: Get the fuck outta here! She is too big. She needs a transplant or something.
–L train
Overheard by: John
Frumpy middle-aged woman #1: I don’t know… I guess some people just want to have a sugar daddy. I’ve thought about getting one.
Frumpy middle-aged woman #2: I guess they just like having kids say, ‘Wow, your mom is hot.’
Frumpy middle-aged woman #1: Meanwhile, the other moms are saying, ‘What a skank-bag!’
–M27 bus
Woman in large fur coat: What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously! All you do is fucking bitch!
Man in leather coat: Oh, go to hell, Addy.
Woman: You fucking asshole. Do you need a fucking tampon? You want a tampon?! [Searches through purse, finds tampon, and flings it at him.] Here you fucking go!
Man catches passerby staring: What the fuck are you looking at?!
–Chinatown
Overheard by: LizBeth
Lady #1: How’s Aunt Beth* doing?
Lady #2: Good. She needs a makeover.
Lady #1: A makeover?
Lady #2: Yeah, she lost all that weight.
Lady #1: Ohhh — an extreme makeover.
Lady #2: Yeah.
–V train
American woman: I heard this song the other day — the lyrics were great.
British man: Hm?
American woman: It was almost as good as that one song — you know, that one that goes, ‘Ain’t no call like a booty call, ’cause a booty call just don’t stop.’
British man: Uh-huh.
American woman: The lyrics are all, ‘Looove is my religion. I’ll take you to the temple tonight.’
British man: Wow… Let’s just try to make some more really shitty metaphors, why don’t we?
–Choga, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Alice
Old guy with gray hair: I used to be an old guy with gray hair!
–Mott & Canal St
Overheard by: Will
80-year-old man: What is rough sex? Do I put her against the wall? I don’t know.
–10th & 3rd
Overheard by: Liz
Old lady struggling to get layers of scarves and coats off: I’m not used to having to put clothes on.
–New York Historical Society
Old lady on cell: Old people like sex! I’m 85, and I still like me some sex!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: imerikaf
75-year-old lady to hobo on bench: Oh, wow, you look so cozy!
–Central Park
Old man with cane to 20-ish girl who just nabbed the cab he hailed: Happy holidays, you dumb bitch!
–62nd & 2nd
Old white guy: Fo’ shizzle!
–Outside Nederlander Theatre
Flight attendant: Once again, please remain seated until the captain does turn off the ‘Fasten seatbelt’ sign… That includes all passengers in row nine… That includes all passengers wearing a blue polo… Yes, thank you, and have a great day.
–JFK
Pilot: Welcome to JetBlue flight 703 to San Juan… I’m from South Carolina. We do something special there — we let our kids drive at the age of fifteen. I’ve got a 15-year-old son and a 16-year-old daughter, so if you’re thinking of driving to Florida, do me a favor and fly JetBlue — it’s safer than driving through South Carolina, and my car insurance for my daughter last year was 15 hundred dollars, and now I have to add my son, so I really need this job to afford it.
–JFK
Overheard by: alan b hutscar
Flight attendant: … And if you do require anything during this flight, simply press the button located above your head. Do not approach the galley, as it scares the hell out of me and I am not emotionally prepared to handle that today.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Sheffler
Flight attendant: … And be sure that you lock your tray tables and place your seat backs in their least comfortable position for takeoff.
–JFK
Overheard by: Ardbeg78
Pilot: Well, folks, I’m sorry about the delay, but, uh, airplanes are complicated machines, you know? And sometimes they break.
–United flight, JFK
Overheard by: clueless about electronics
Big, jolly black woman about to be frisked at security: You have yo’self a good time!
–JFK
Overheard by: Nancy L.
