Girl #1: I’m so bored in life. I’m thinking of getting a boy toy.
Girl #2: Well, what about Mark?
Girl #1: Things with him are too straightforward. I want someone I can manipulate.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Columbia Student
Girl #1: I’m so bored in life. I’m thinking of getting a boy toy.
Girl #2: Well, what about Mark?
Girl #1: Things with him are too straightforward. I want someone I can manipulate.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Columbia Student
Girl #1: I can’t even talk to her anymore. All she does is sit in her room, smoke pot and sulk. It’s pathetic.
Girl #2: That’s kind of what I do.
Girl #1: Me, too. But it’s okay, ’cause we’re not fat like she is.
Girl #2: Totally!
–Union Square
Girl #1: Nice scarf. Did you knit it yourself?
Girl #2: Fuck you. Don’t talk to me.
–F train
Teen girl #1: I just wish there was some middle ground. Like, if they could take the baby out without killing it.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.
Teen girl #1: But with rape, I think it’s totally wrong. It’s her fault.
Teen girl #2: Really? Why?
Teen girl #1: If you’re walking down a dark alley all alone, you have it coming to you. You should know better. It’s totally your own fault.
–42nd & 6th
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Girl: I’m so pissed at him… I’m gonna wait until my herpes show up and have sex with him.
Friend: Yeah, good idea. Do it.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
Brooklyn guy: Cute kid you got there. How old is he?
Short-haired mom: She is 20 months.
Brooklyn guy: Oh, ‘she.’ Sorry, I didn’t realize…
Short-haired mom: That’s because gender is performance.
Brooklyn guy: [Sips coffee.]
–Vox Pop, Cortelyou Rd
Overheard by: the nearby barista
Brunette: Tyra Banks isn’t fat, she just isn’t anorexic like other supermodels.
Blonde: If you’re not anorexic, you’re fat.
Hobo: Amen to that, sister!
–86th & Lex
Overheard by: Charlie
White teen: You’ve got a fat ass.
Black teen: Well, your ass has a stupid, scrawny bitch stuck to it.
–Times Square
Girl #1: Every time we go out she’s all like, ‘I need a boyfriend sooo bad!’ And all she does is bitch about how she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Well, it’s like, ‘Of course you don’t have a boyfriend — maybe if your blubber didn’t hang down over your jeans some guy would want you.’ No guy wants to mount a beached whale… Well, unless they’re into that kind of thing…
Girl #2: I know the perfect guy.
Girl #1: I bet he’s real hot.
–Columbia University
PMS-y woman: I can’t believe you’re out of the mac and cheese!
Employee: I’m sorry, ma’am. Can I get you something else?
PMS-y woman: Why do you hate me?
–Hale & Hearty, 49th St
Overheard by: wanted the mac & cheese too
