Jock: Hey, you got a haircut.
Bored pal: Yeah, I did.
Jock: You don’t look like a lesbian anymore.
Bored pal: No, I don’t look like a lesbian.
Jock: Now you just look like a scary gay.
–Gym class, Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Jock: Hey, you got a haircut.
Bored pal: Yeah, I did.
Jock: You don’t look like a lesbian anymore.
Bored pal: No, I don’t look like a lesbian.
Jock: Now you just look like a scary gay.
–Gym class, Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Altar boy #1: Plants are asexual since they do it with themselves and then spawn.
Altar boy #2: Like Mother Mary?
–Bronx High School of Science
Teen boy #1: Is turkey actually, like, protein?
Teen boy #2: Of course. It’s got chicken in it.
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: overhearer
Girl #1: It’s the last day of school and I’m not even sad. I feel like I should be crying or something.
Girl #2: Do you want me to pinch you really hard?
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: Michelle
Asian girl: Where do you want to go to college?
Greek girl: Huh, You have pink eye? My brother had that. It’s mad contagious.
–Bronx High School of Science
Teen girl #1: Do you ever have to fart really badly in class?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, like today. I ate a PowerBar and I’ve had to shit like crazy so I keep farting.
Teen girl #1: But you can’t do it in class ’cause then it smells and people know it’s you.
Teen girl #2: You can stick dryer sheets in your pants and then it doesn’t smell as much.
Teen girl #3: But how do you keep them in there?
Teen girl #2: Well, if your pants are tight enough, where they gonna go?
Teen girl #1: Or sometimes you can ask to go to the bathroom and when you stand up your ass cheeks squeeze together and you can’t fart.
Teen girl #2: But in the two seconds before you’re standing you can’t control it, then you fart.
Teen girl #1: Damn it, I have to take a shit.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted!
–NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street
Overheard by: supermerm
