Teen girl #1: See, this is why we can’t be friends.
Teen girl #2: What? We can’t be friends because I won’t join you in an orgy.
Teen girl #1: Yes, exactly.
–74th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dani
Teen girl #1: See, this is why we can’t be friends.
Teen girl #2: What? We can’t be friends because I won’t join you in an orgy.
Teen girl #1: Yes, exactly.
–74th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dani
Guy: They have biodegradable scrubbies.
Chick: Mmm-hmmm, yeah.
Guy: What the hell does that mean?
–The Fairway, Red Hook
Overheard by: Kyle
Girlfriend: There’s too many roaches in the apartment!
Boyfriend: Look, no matter where you go in New York there’s going to be a lot of roaches.
Girlfriend: Shut up! I’m from the goddamn city! I don’t want roaches crawling on me when I’m pooping!
–Maujer St, Brooklyn
Suit #1: So, I was at lunch, and I went to Subway to get a sandwich…
Suit #2: Uh-huh…
Suit #1: And I ran into this other guy from work as I was walking out, and he says, ‘Oh my god, I had no idea you were the kind of guy who would eat at Subway!’
–The North East Kingdom, Bushwick, Brooklyn
15-year-old preppy #1: I think Lisa’s really cool. We should hang out with her more.
15-year-old preppy #2 Yeah, she seems like a really cool girl. I guess her boyfriend’s in jail or something… And she has his name tattooed on her clit [gestures to stomach area] or something…
–Atlantic Ave
Four-year-old boy, frantically: Mommy! I can’t breathe!
Mother: What?
Four-year-old boy: I can’t breathe!
Mother: Are you kidding?
Four-year-old boy: No, I can’t breathe!
Mother: Why? What’s wrong?
Four-year-old boy: I can’t breathe ’cause the doctor cut my penis!
–Brooklyn Heights
Girlfriend: What was the name of that girl?
Boyfriend: Who?
Girlfriend: The one that was totally in love with you?
Boyfriend: Yeah, she was awesome.
Girlfriend: Who?
Boyfriend: No idea.
–Bergen & Flatbush, Brooklyn
Old lady: I’m just so mad at you–!
Crazy old man, interrupting: –You ain’t mad, you upset! Only animals get mad. You a human! A human!
–Flushing & Broadway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: glad i’m outta there
Man with camera: How about one with the Statue of Liberty in the back?
Man being photographed: You don’t want one with the Manhattan skyline?
Man with camera: No, you tourist!
–Brooklyn Heights Promenade
Overheard by: Rob M
Child: I’m king of the world!
Dad: Okay, now come on.
Child: Dad, what’s king of the world?
Dad: It means you’re the boss of everyone.
Child: Oh.
Dad: Your mommy — she’s king of the world.
–DeGraw & Court, Brooklyn
