Teen girl #1: Is Mr. Parker* here today?
Teen girl #2: No, I think he was deported on Friday.
–Midwood High School, Brooklyn
Teen girl #1: Is Mr. Parker* here today?
Teen girl #2: No, I think he was deported on Friday.
–Midwood High School, Brooklyn
Boy: Yo, you know what would be cool? If they made black-out instead of white-out.
Girl: Yeah! And yellow-out, too!
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Mary Button
Guy #1: Alright, we gonna have a good time today.
Guy #2: Eww, you use condoms — when I do it, I do it for real!
Guy #1’s girlfriend: And get the girl pregnant?
Guy #2: Something called birth control!
Girlfriend: That doesn’t mean you won’t get STDs.
Guy #2: Well, I make sure she doesn’t have STDs!
Girlfriend: But all whores have STDs, and those are the only pussy you can ever get!
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: Vincent Ku
African-American student: Later Mr. B, stay white and don’t let the black man bite!
Mr. B: Ok, Alex, stay black and don’t take my wallet.
–NYC Lab School
Guy #1: Yo son I got head from a blind chick the other day
Guy #2: Wait, so did she know?
–Brooklyn Technical High School
Overheard by: Graham Davis
A bunch of black high school kids in ghetto garb pass two preppily dressed white girls and make loud catcalls at them.
White girl #1: Where the fuck did they come from?
White girl #2: Um, someone took a shit in the sky.
–Outside Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Mexican On Wheels
Girl: Are you a conservative or a liberal?
Guy: I know all teenagers are supposed to be liberal, but I’m pretty conservative.
Girl: Oh my god, I know exactly what you mean. I was conservative until last week when I saw V for Vendetta. How hot is Natalie Portman?
–Bronx High School of Science
Teen girl #1: Do you ever have to fart really badly in class?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, like today. I ate a PowerBar and I’ve had to shit like crazy so I keep farting.
Teen girl #1: But you can’t do it in class ’cause then it smells and people know it’s you.
Teen girl #2: You can stick dryer sheets in your pants and then it doesn’t smell as much.
Teen girl #3: But how do you keep them in there?
Teen girl #2: Well, if your pants are tight enough, where they gonna go?
Teen girl #1: Or sometimes you can ask to go to the bathroom and when you stand up your ass cheeks squeeze together and you can’t fart.
Teen girl #2: But in the two seconds before you’re standing you can’t control it, then you fart.
Teen girl #1: Damn it, I have to take a shit.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Guy: Yeah, it’s like all three of our neurons are coming together right now.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Phe
Teacher guy: You guys know that clock in Union Square that goes
backwards, right?
Teen girl: But why does it change?
–Midwood High School
