Guy #1: Oh man, you have to try this dessert I had the other night.
Guy #2: OK, what is it?
Guy #1: It’s this plum pie I had a la mode. Incredible.
Guy #2: That sounds like something European fags eat to stop diarrhea.
Guy #1: I said plum, not prune.
–Christopher & Hudson
Overheard by: Global Hipster
Girl: Stop staring, pervert.
Guy: You ain’t all that hot.
Girl: I am not a hamburger! You can’t eat me!
–3 train
Overheard by: Jose
Guy: I was never any good at sports…I’ve watched the Superbowl a few times.
–Flatiron office
Lady on phone: Yeah, they have seat fillers at the Oscars and other award shows, you didn’t know that? It’s so when they pan over the audience it doesn’t look like a Mets game.
–40th Street office
Overheard by: Clay Caviness
Guy: I’m not going to be the only guy at the hockey party holding an apple turnover.
–Broadway & Prince
Overheard by: Christopher Miner
Waitress: Sorry sir, your order did not come out as you expected. The cooks don’t speak English so they didn’t understand what you wanted.
–ESPNZone, Times Square
Overheard by: Rachel W
Spanish girl: When I got my tongue pierced it wasn’t swollen at all. They was tellin’ me to eat soup and shit. Fuck that! I was eatin’ rice and beans like five times a day! I am not gonna starve myself for no piercing. Fuck that! Gimme a T-bone.
–M train
A hobo walks up to the people outside and says: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It has no atmosphere.
–Indochine, Lafayette Street
Drunk guy: So I eat the Baklava, then I go into the bathroom to take care of my business. When I come out I say, “What’s the problem?”.
–47th & 9th
Overheard by: JH
Woman: Can you please make sure it’s a boy lobster? I’m only into boys, and don’t want to eat a girl.
–Austin ale house, Kew Gardens
Overheard by: tom
Pudgy guy on cell: I used to pay for dinner for three. But now I don’t pay for anyone, I just have Apple Jacks at home.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Alita
Girl #1: What was that called again?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: You know…it’s pudding with rice in it?
Girl #2: You mean rice pudding?
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Gabby
Skater guy: Fuck, man, this apple juice is damn good.
Skater girl: Apple juice? I always thought that was orange juice.
–31st & 6th
Lady: I don’t like to parallel park…it messes up my hair.
–61st & Madison
Guy: Seriously, you are being ridiculous. You need to calm the fuck down. You still have 2 more stops and what are your expectations with that outfit? Let me off.
–L train
Man on cell: I served lemonade for 6 hours! It wasn’t fucking bartending! It sucked!
–61st & 3rd
Chinese chick: Oh, I don’t watch baseball. I just recently found out what a home run is. I used to think they would, like, run home, and I was like, what the fuck is the point of that?
–B6 bus
Man on cell: Are you a fucking retard or do you just play one in real life?
–Penn Station
Girl: I don’t know why I pay for the internet. The only sites I ever use are Friendster, Craigslist and Overheard In New York and I’ll be honest, sometimes they just don’t do it for me.
–2 train
Punk chick: …hate it when my dirt washes off. It keeps me warm.
–St. Mark’s between 1st & A
Chick: You’re not the one who had to teach a fucking dance class from 9 to 5. I had to teach dance from 9 to 5. And I have to do it again tomorrow. I don’t wanna fucking dance anymore. I have tendonitis!
–12th & 3rd
Overheard by: Domi & Rachel
Waitress: Do you want the pierogies boiled or fried?
Lady: What’s the difference?
Waitress: One’s boiled, one’s fried.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue & 9th Street
Hobo: Does anyone have some food? I’m so hungry, please!
Guy: I think I have an apple in my bag.
Hobo: I got no teeth! I got no teeth! I don’t want your apple!
Guy: How the hell do you expect to get any food without teeth?
–2/3 train
Teen girl: Like, I thought he was Jewish but then he ate a gyro so I dumped him.
Teen boy: That’s rough. Did he have it with that white sauce?
Teen girl: What difference does that make? Shit, you’re dumb.
–F train
Overheard by: Steph Gold
Lady: Geez, what an adventure, huh? I mean, “grande ensalada”? I had no idea what I’d ordered until it came to the table!
–55th & Madison
Overheard by: Heather
Hobo: She eats the cole slawwww. She likes the Pepsi, not the Coke!
–Borough Park
Russian lady: How many times do I have to tell you? Puerto Ricans don’t eat tacos.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Jonathan
Man: We have to stop here so I can eat. If we keep walking, I can’t eat in the rain.
–23rd & Madison
Woman: It’s spiritual. I only eat yak.
–11th & A
Overheard by: Lisa D
Girl on cell: OK, well, get me as many cans of tuna as you can possibly carry.
–Washington Square & East 4th
Senior VP on phone: No, you can’t order Chilean sea bass anymore! They’re all bred artificially in ponds. The real ones are going extinct out of sheer deliciousness.
–Madison Avenue office
Woman: It’s too hot today for Indian food. Well unless, you know, you’re Indian.
–17th & Park
Overheard by: Robyn
