Lady: What’s that lake that separates the North and the South?
Man: What lake?
Lady: You know, that big lake?
Man: I thought it was a river.
–B train
Overheard by: cee
Lady: What’s that lake that separates the North and the South?
Man: What lake?
Lady: You know, that big lake?
Man: I thought it was a river.
–B train
Overheard by: cee
Girl #1: These are my fat ass pants.
Girl #2: Oh…so are they supposed to make your ass look fat or thin?
–58th & 5th
A Kosher Deli has a neon sign in the shape of a sky-line.
Guy: What’s with all the phalluses?
Girl: That’s Jeruselum. They’re church towers or something.
Guy: Oh…is “phalluses” the right way to make that plural?
–Broadway & 32nd
Girl: Well, she got addicted to coke, and weighs like three pounds now.
Guy: Sweet. Would I do her?
Girl: Well, it depends.
Guy: On what?
Girl: Well, she only hooks up with guys who will give it to her from
behind.
–Astor Place Barnes & Noble
Guy: Did you hear about the Hasidic Jew that fell off the upper deck at Yankee Stadium and landed on the field?
Girl: Uh, no.
Guy: Never mind. Maybe it’s just an urban legend.
–Ozone Park
Guy #1: So, you really know those chicks in there?
Guy #2: Just the bartender with the big guns.
–Angry Wade’s, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: AD
Girl #1: If she moves into your kitchen and her boyfriend visits, you are gonna overhear them fucking.
Girl #2: Uh-uh. I’m puttin’ the kibosh on that.
Girl #1: You can’t tell them they can’t have sex in her own room where she pays rent!
Girl #2: I don’t want to hear no sex…unless it’s on the porn. Or me. Or two men.
–International Bar, 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Nicole A.
Guy #1: You know, like the velvet tracksuits that everyone’s dads wore when we were growing up.
Guy #2: We didn’t all grow up on Long Island.
–6th & A
Overheard by: Phenders
Girl #1: You are way more charitable than I am.
Girl #2: Are you saying that only Catholics are charitable?
Girl #1: What?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Karla
In a crowded bathroom, a drunk guy at the short urinal calls over to his friend about six urinals down.
Guy #1: Hey, man! Why is mine so small? Is yours this small?
Guy #2: What?
–Penn Station men’s room
Girl #1: Is it hot in here or are my eyes just burning?
Girl #2: What?
–M66 bus
Overheard by: Gabriella
Woman: Would you let Michael go to the west coast?
Man #1: What?
Man #2: No! You don’t want him to be a freak.
Woman: I didn’t mean Oregon.
–Chipolte, 44th Street
Overheard by: Holly
