Guy #1: She be sucking my dick, and she all in a motherfuckin’ hurry and shit. She gotta take it easy, she got to slow down.
Guy #2: No, no, no. Shit. She’s got to savor the flavor. Yeah.
–27th & 8th
Guy #1: She be sucking my dick, and she all in a motherfuckin’ hurry and shit. She gotta take it easy, she got to slow down.
Guy #2: No, no, no. Shit. She’s got to savor the flavor. Yeah.
–27th & 8th
Chick #1: Oh, you’re wearing your hair open today!
Chick #2: “Open”?
Chick #1: Well, you know what I mean…
Chick #2: Oh, yeah. It’s open like a brothel.
Chick #1: What?
Chick #2: It’s open like a brothel.
–Barnard College
Girl #1: I am, like, so obsessed with Asian guys. He is so great. I would so date him.
Girl #2: Date him? But he’s gay.
Girl #1: Those are my favorite kind of Asians.
–Grand Central
Girl: You feed the rats?
Man: It’s not the rat’s fault it’s a rat.
Girl: Yeah, but rats carry diseases.
Man: So do most chicks.
–96th Street 1/2/3 station
Chick #1: …So, like, now he ain’t got no toes!
Chick #2: He should be in National Geographic.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Reaper
Woman: I don’t know where we are?
Usher guy: Lady, you’re in Manhattan.
–Circle in the Square Theater, 50th & Broadway
Guy #1: You know the reason why human beings are not at the top of the food chain?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Pez.
–Washington Square Park
Guy #1: So you don’t eat beef, huh?
Guy #2: Nah, man.
Guy #1: You’re that religious that you don’t eat beef?
Guy #2: Yeah, I guess.
Guy #1: Well, you’ve got cheese on your grilled chicken, what about that?
Guy #2: What about it?
Guy #1: Well, you’re killing the cow.
Guy #2: No, I’m not…
Guy #1: Oh, well, what about cows that drink cow’s milk?
–Hayden Dining Hall, Washington Square West
Overheard by: Calvin T.
Girl #1: Oh thank god we’re here, I feel kind of sick.
Girl #2: I know, I have emotion sickness.
Girl #1: What? You mean motion sickness?
Girl #2: No, e-motion sickness. All this time on the bus made me feel sick to my stomach.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
–Greyhound bus, Port Authority
Overheard by: liz drennan
Guy #1: Yo man, he ain’t got no job and he don’t take care of his kids.
Guy #2: I know, but he’ll learn the hard way; we did.
Guy #1: He been to prison twice already; what else he got to learn?
–Penn Station
