Guy #1: So you don’t eat beef, huh?
Guy #2: Nah, man.
Guy #1: You’re that religious that you don’t eat beef?
Guy #2: Yeah, I guess.
Guy #1: Well, you’ve got cheese on your grilled chicken, what about that?
Guy #2: What about it?
Guy #1: Well, you’re killing the cow.
Guy #2: No, I’m not…
Guy #1: Oh, well, what about cows that drink cow’s milk?
–Hayden Dining Hall, Washington Square West
Overheard by: Calvin T.
Girl #1: Oh thank god we’re here, I feel kind of sick.
Girl #2: I know, I have emotion sickness.
Girl #1: What? You mean motion sickness?
Girl #2: No, e-motion sickness. All this time on the bus made me feel sick to my stomach.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
–Greyhound bus, Port Authority
Overheard by: liz drennan
Guy #1: Yo man, he ain’t got no job and he don’t take care of his kids.
Guy #2: I know, but he’ll learn the hard way; we did.
Guy #1: He been to prison twice already; what else he got to learn?
–Penn Station
Queer #1: I woke up this morning with a used condom hanging from my ass. Was that you?
Queer #2: You are so disgusting.
–Cilantro’s, 89th & 2nd
Overheard by: Srednivashtar
Dude #1: Going to NYU is interesting.
Dude #2: No, getting a girl pregnant is interesting.
–Washington Square South & LaGuardia
Old man: I’m a pretty good driver when I’m drunk.
Old woman: I don’t think so.
Old man: You just don’t like how fast I go.
Old woman: …I don’t think so.
Old man: Oh, the endless debate. He, he, he.
–Saurin Parke Cafe, West 110th Sreet
Overheard by: Wendy Darling
Paralegal chick #1: You have any plans for tonight?
Paralegal chick #2: Yeah, I’m going on a date with a girl I met online.
Paralegal chick #1: Oh. I didn’t know that you’re a lesbian.
Paralegal chick #2: I’m not.
–Office, 42nd & Lexington
Hobo: Do you have any spare change?
Guy #1: No.
Hobo: Fuck you, you fuckin’ faggot.
Guy #2: Actually, he’s the straight one, and you should be nicer if you expect people to give you money.
Hobo: Fuckin’ faggot, you ain’t got nothin on me!
–2nd Avenue station
Little boy: Hurry up, hurry up, mommy! We don’t want to be late for the party!
Mom: Honey, there is no party to be late for.
–71st & Broadway
Overheard by: Natasha
Suit #1: Hey, did we ever find out how Chris Penn died?
Suit #2: Yeah. He died of being a big, fat fuck.
–50th between 6th & 7th
