Man in paper hat, leather jacket covered in soda can tabs, and poofy skirt over jeans: She comes in and she comes home and breaks my heart, and the worst part is that I don’t understand her language. I’m better off with… [Steps back to peer at magazine a girl is reading] I’m better off with that one. What’s her name? Turn the page back one. Yeah, her. Tyra? Tyra. I’m better off with Tyra.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl

Woman #1: You just know that’s going to be David in a few years. The one with $6 million just sitting in the bank.
Woman #2: I know. You wouldn’t expect it of him, though.
Woman #1: Yeah. I’m still trying to figure out what kind of insane he is.
Woman #2: Hmm. Manic, maybe?

–6 train

Conductor: Please throw away your newspapers and garbage in the trash cans on station platforms and know that the trash cans can only hold two human bodies at a time.


New York Post guy: New York Post! Free New York Post! (hands huge stack of papers to passerby) Thanks, brother. Just throw the rest in the trash can down the block.

–40th & 6th

Carriage driver to horse: You see that chestnut? That’s called “Eurotrash.”

–Central Park South

Overheard by: Andy

Giant old man to screaming and jumping children: You look like Garbage Pail Kids. Stop it.

–Madison & Nostrand, Brooklyn

Overheard by: g

Conductor: Please place anyone who has become garbage en route in the appropriate receptacle.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jess

Woman walking down the street with a small bag of garbage: Fuck it. (drops bag of garbage nonchalantly, keeps walking)

–W 19th

Businessguy #1 If I were gay I would change my name to Paul.
Businessguy #2: Why Paul? I would go with something more Latin.

–A train

Overheard by: Cory Agid 

Younger woman: What’s the name of Jesus’ father? Not god, the other guy!
Older woman: Joseph?
Younger woman: Yeah! Him. Oh wait, so it’s not “John”? Forget it.


Guy #1: Yo B., let’s cross here.
Guy #2: Did you just call me Babe?
Guy #1: No, niggah, I called you B.! You outta your fuckin’ mind? 

–Spring & W. Broadway

Girl #1: You know that guy who always follows me around?
Girl #2: Yeah!
Girl #3: I wish I knew his name.

–Uptown 6 Train

Overheard by: Could it be Mulva?

Drunk guy: Hi, my name’s Bobby Flamer.
Girl: Haha, there’s no way your last name is really Flamer.
Drunk guy: No, seriously, look at my ID.
Girl, looking at ID: This says your name is Eric Flamer.
Drunk guy: Yeah. I lied.

–Bar None, 3rd Ave between 12th & 13th

Overheard by: Zak Santucci

Little girl: Mommy! Mommy! How many times have I asked you for a brother?
Mother to friend: Yeah, she’s been buggin’ me about having a boy.
Little girl: Yeah! And we can name him David!
Mother: David? David? Hooooo, girl! Hell no!

–Staten Island Ferry

Guy: Well, William can be Bill, Robert can be Bob, and John can be Jack.
Girl: John can be Jack?
Guy: Yeah, you know, like sometimes John Kennedy was called Jack Kennedy.
Girl: Then why did they call him Robert?

–Diner, 22nd & 3rd