Little girl: Daddy, do people have white hair because they’re old?
Dad: Yes. And, in fact, some people like me have almost no hair at all.
–M86 bus, 86th & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Little girl: Daddy, do people have white hair because they’re old?
Dad: Yes. And, in fact, some people like me have almost no hair at all.
–M86 bus, 86th & Lex
Overheard by: Jake
Nine-year-old boy: Would you rather be naked in public or in front of a hundred boys? Including me…
Nine-year-old girl: A hundred boys. Would you rather be naked in front of this whole bus or just this back half?
Nine-year-old boy: Just the back half… Wait… You’re in the back half, right?
–M79 crosstown bus, Central Park
Overheard by: Rachel
Blonde: So, I went home for Thanksgiving, and my grandmother told me that only ugly girls apply to grad school, because they can’t find a husband. Then she said she would pay for me to get a boob job so I could find a husband.
Adoring friend: Wow, your grandma is so cool!
Blonde: Yeah, but like, I wouldn’t know how big to get them, ’cause I don’t want back problems or anything, but I’ve always wanted boobs!
–NYU bus
Overheard by: Sarah
Little girl: You keep asking me for money! Forty dollars in two days! And then you ask for more!
Mother, laughing nervously: Yeah…
–East-bound M66 bus
Overheard by: Eric
Queer black man #1: I am stupid, dumb, and crazy.
Queer black man #2: Mmm-hm.
Queer black man #1: But I am not slow. I never was.
Queer black man #2: You never were.
Queer black man #1: I never was.
Queer black man #2: It’s ‘were. I never were.’ I was an English major.
Queer black man #1: It’s, ‘I never was.’ I went to school. You’re speaking some sort of crazy… some crazy Ebonics language.
Queer black man #2: Bitch, you stupid, dumb, and crazy.
Queer black man #1: Mmm-hm, that’s right.
–M10 bus, 110th & CPW
Overheard by: A former English minor, weeping.
Hipster guy #1: We’ve been working on this kind of Flickr thing for cell phones for, like, a month.
Hipster guy #2: That might be kind of cool…
Hipster guy #1: No, it fuckin’ sucks. Nobody’s gonna use it.
–Chinatown bus
10-year-old girl: Mommy, when I grow up, do you still have to follow me everywhere?
Mom: No.
10-year-old girl: Yesss!
–M101 bus
Overheard by: FRAIS
Teen #1: Once, on the subway, I saw this guy and he was jerking off. Can you believe it?! Jerking off!
Teen #2: Jerking off on the subway?! That’s got to be unhealthy!
–M96 bus
Annoyed bimbette: You cannot go out with him! Like, who will go and pick up random guys with me?
Brunette: I’ll still go out with you.
Annoyed bimbette: No, I know you — you’ll say ‘yes’ when he asks you out. You can’t go out with him. Oh, yeah, wait — he’s younger than you. You can get him pussy-whipped like that. You have to go out with him.
Brunette, defeated: Okay.
–S79 bus
Teen girl #1: You didn’t I know I went out with Hector?
Teen girl #2: Nah.
Teen girl #3: Hector went out with everyone. He kissed all the girls. We called him ‘The Rapist,’ or ‘R. Kelly.’
–Q88 bus
Overheard by: Me
